This week, America is mourning yet another instance of political violence. Another maniac caused widespread terror. And in the wake of that violence, Americans are asking themselves, “What has this country come to?”

Of course, I am talking about another school shooting in Colorado, where two students are in the hospital after a teenager with a gun opened fire and then took his own life.

Of course, I am talking about Putin launching drones over Poland, pushing the world closer to wider wars.

Of course, I am talking about the ICE raids.

And of course, I am talking about Charlie Kirk’s murder at Utah Valley University.

Pundits have been decrying the political violence. The plot to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer; the storming of the Capitol; the attack on Paul Pelosi; the assassination attempts against Donald Trump; the assassination of Melissa Hortman and shooting of John Hoffman; the arson attack against Josh Shapiro.

But every day, the very same people decrying the political violence are enacting political violence: taking away trans rights and reproductive rights, violently arresting immigrants in the streets, and threatening all-out war on US cities. America was founded by and on political violence.

This violent country is made only more brutal by the violence that hides under the guise of “just asking questions,” and those questions are often about the right of Black, brown, and trans people to live. And guns. Always the guns.

And Now, the Dingus of the Week: Twin Towers Teas

If you identify as a human, this has been a hard week. Also a bad week for moderately sentient robots, because kids don’t use them to cheat in school over the summer, which must be a terrible feeling. Kind of like Henry VIII once the gout hit, or Al Capone once the syphilis hit.

So out of respect for everyone, I found a low-stakes dingus that I think we can all agree was working hard for America.

A store (whose name I will not reveal, because we don’t need to doxx these patriots), that this week was selling “Twin Towers Teas.”1

The teas were a special to commemorate 9/11. Nothing says the “strength of our nation, America” like tea — a beverage we famously tossed into the sea as part of our nation’s founding.

Yes, these absolute patriots created a drink so that we will never forget how awful that day was. Because these so-called teas sound worse than a terrorist attack in your mouth. Pomegranate and coconut, two of the key ingredients in these drinks, are not native to the United States, but that’s okay, because I am sure that the store selling these drinks loves immigrants. So, nothing to worry about here.

Still, we must ask: What do these drinks actually taste like? Freedom? Tariffs? That quintessentially American metallic flavor of back-of-the-throat panic over not being able to pay your medical bills?

The really good news is that these drinks are named after Tower A and Tower B. So any real American has to buy both. But you only get to buy Tower B after the toxic collapse of the first tower has imploded your guts and your tastebuds.

One can only assume that once you drink both teas you automatically grow a pair of wraparound sunglasses, don a Blue Lives Matter t-shirt, and get a divorce.

But in true patriot spirit, here is a list of other 9/11-themed foods (beyond Freedom Fries, of course) I’d love to see:2

Dirty Bomb Martini

Terrorist Taco – You cannot eat it; you can only shoot it.

Wontons of Mass Destruction – These tiny delicious pockets of flavor will give you diarrhea more explosive than your uncle on the Fourth of July after seven beers. Just kidding; they actually don’t exist.

Lasagna bin Laden – He’s hiding in there!

Flight 93 – 93 shots of beer. Domestic, of course.

Fried Valerie Plamtations

Rudy Giuligazpacho – Show America your love by drinking a soup colder than the heart of NYC’s fifth-worst mayor. If you spill it on yourself, you can kind of look like you have Giuliani’s melting face.

Spanikopatriot Act – Layers of flaky FOIA dough, filled with cheese and spinach.

TSAlfredo – This is a normal dish, but before you can eat it, the restaurant gropes you and rifles through your valuables. Also, you’re only served 3.4 ounces of liquid.

WARdorf salad – Again, this is normal food, but you cannot stop eating it, it goes on forever and ever, and it costs $911 trillion.

Lady Liberty Fingers – She’s pointing at you and accusing you of not loving America ENOUGH.

Condoleeza Rice

Dingus runner-up:

Also, as part of my very deep and serious joke-making process, I Googled “Foods that start with A” and was given this result.

And now for something good

I really appreciated this thoughtful response to the week’s news by , who wrote in his newsletter:

“Life is not precious in our world. If it were, we would not disappear human beings and pretend that doing so solves social problems. If it were, we would not rest until everybody was fed and clothed and housed and loved. If it were, we would not be so skittish at naming the patterns of caste and exclusion that still define our lives. If it were, we would not coronate the people we do, reward the behavior we reward, applaud any work that draws us further away rather than closer together.”

There is no great way to transition from that thoughtful and insightful essay and into the next good thing, so I am just going to say, DRUNK RACCOON!

A couple exchanged vows over a Chili’s Triple Dipper, and I have new relationship goals now.

Trans teens sued the state of Iowa and won.

Also, science says it’s actually great to let your kids just watch Bluey, so if you need to do that this weekend, you have my permission and science’s permission. It’s good for them. Now, go take a little nap.

New Mexico becomes the first state to offer free childcare.

Octopuses are ambidextrous but tend to use their tentacles like we use our arms, favoring one side over another. And I know the world is bad, but it’s also filled with weirdness and wonder.

Something I am enjoying

For almost three years, I have been on the board of the Iowa Abortion Access Fund. I joined after Roe was overturned because I felt like if I was going to write about the Iowa I wanted to exist, then I needed to do the work to make that happen.

I no longer go to church, but I was raised Baptist, and part of me still believes that faith without works is dead. And if we want the world to be a better place, we have to do the grassroots, uncomfortable, unglamorous work to make it better.

And this summer, I got to live that in a very real way.

In the spring, the executive director of the fund had to step down for personal reasons. As a result, I spent the summer running the Iowa Abortion Access Fund. It has been laborious, time-consuming work — all the unexciting things, like making sure bills get paid, emails get sent, job postings are written and posted, meetings attended, rules followed, interviews are held, everything is put to a vote, we document, we take notes, people’s ideas are heard, frustrations aired, and conflicts resolved. The work of making the world better is often boring, repetitive, drudgery, and so, so necessary.

I have never run a hiring process, but I kept telling the rest of the board, if Pete Hegseth can run the Department of War, then I can do this, with their help. And they did help. It was a team effort.

More than once, I cried from being so tired and burned out. My laundry is in shambles. So are the floors of my house. I haven’t cooked many real meals this year. We’ve been living off pasta and takeout.

On September 8, our new executive director, Beaufield Berry, started her job. She’s incredible. She’s a mother, an artist, an activist, and someone I am so proud to have run our organization.

Thus ends the summer I ran an abortion fund. What did I learn? I think I learned that the work of community requires putting ego aside. It requires listening and kindness when you want to rage, and it requires putting your foot down and making decisions when you’d rather not be in charge at all. It requires research and collaboration. And it requires showing up when you’d rather hide in bed. At some point, I resolved that even my 40 percent was better than no one’s 0 percent.

Everyone in America right now is despairing. We are afraid and worried. And we should be. It’s very worrying out there. But finding something you believe in and doing that work even when it is annoying and exhausting is the only way I know to make this place better.

To celebrate, this evening I will be toasting with a drink of brandy, apple cider, lemon, and ginger beer.