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Charles In Charge, Apparently
Note: Normally, the way this Substack works is I post a public essay, and then one under the paywall to contain all the stuff I either ran out of room to say or was spicy enough I preferred a small barrier to yelling at me.
However.
I got a lot of shit to say about You Know the Fuck What that happened in Utah last night and I am in no mood for the veritable army of suddenly oh-so-concerned, both-sides-are-bad-but-really-only-one-side-tee-hee empathy-demanders blanketing the internet today. Human? Bots? Taking all bets!
Soooo, yeah. This one is for the club members of this treehouse of doom because fuck that and also if one more digital chihuahua tells me what to feel about this I’m gonna start biting.
Let’s get this out of the way: Charlie Kirk was shot last night while specifically talking about, and, as usual, not giving a shit about, gun violence. Yes, I’ve seen the video. No, I’m not a monster, I was shocked, and disturbed, and still am.
See, but then five fucking minutes passed.
I find it just terribly interesting that within minutes of that shot being fired, all I saw anywhere online was a tsunami of scolding about “the left’s” reaction. Stop celebrating! Show empathy! This is a national tragedy you MUST feel deeply about! You can’t make jokes or not care! IT IS REQUIRED THAT YOU CARE. (Just let us hide the leftover balloons and streamers from Melissa and Mark Hortman getting assassinated two months ago super quick.)
I swear to whatever gods get it done for you the word empathy was suddenly everywhere.
I saw thousands of words of this before I saw one word of anyone “celebrating,” which consisted of…mostly posting Kirk’s own words about not giving a shit about gun violence, hating empathy, expressing fear about the right’s retaliation, and then conspicuously moving on to other topics.
DAMN, THE LEFT SURE KNOWS HOW TO PARTY.
In the cold light of the next damned day? Apparently Charlie Kirk was the most impactful and significant political figure in America today! Who knew? And despite it being 9-fucking-11, a day the right has turned into its own personal Anger Holiday, the only thing to be mourned or spoken of is…this guy, who was an influencer yesterday and today, I’m informed, is the most beautiful, illuminated pinnacle of the American intellect.
Frankly, over the last fourteen hours, I’ve come to the conclusion that absolutely no one is as excited about celebrating Charlie Kirk’s death as MAGA.
