Blowing Bean Smoke

Is this podcast beans-funny or pickles-funny? Find out on the latest episode with comedian, writer, and ceramicist Eliza Skinner joining Matt & Vince to chat about Mad Men season four episode twelve, “Blowing Smoke.” 

In the wake of Lucky Strike’s departure, Don’s trying to land another big fish, but he’ll settle for beans, vinegars, and/or sauces. Faye gets him a meeting with Heinz, and he learns that he can’t make an ad about how beans make you fart, but does not lock down a new client. 

Remember Midge? Don’s first mistress? You never forget your first. She’s back and she’s selling paintings to fund her true passion, doing heroin. Which she describes as feeling like, “drinking a hundred bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tits.” She makes it seem like that’s good and cool and good, but on paper, sounds icky. Don’t do heroin. It’s icky. 

Do you ever think about the Land O’Lakes butter lady? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. 

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030.

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for Newton, The Yankee, The Projector, Jailbird, & Apple.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

This week on the Frotcast, bitter infighting consumed the group chat as the third day of negotiations about what to watch for this episode reached an impasse. While the talks were Vanced, the Strait of Discourse stayed mercifully open. What we’re trying to say is, We didn’t watch a movie this week. Sorry.

Rapper/pornographer Ray J has months to live. He also has a very strange interview with Cam Newton’s silly hat. Ray J answers the question “Are you gay?” with a story about what people do when they go home. It gets worse from there, believe it or not. A sample exchange: Ray J: “Do you listen to Biggie Smalls?” Cam: “Can you just answer my question?” We’ll always love you for moving your hat 7 times in a 30 second conversation, Ray J. What we do in life echoes in eternity.

Then we get some IRL Kyle Mooney action when streamer 4_Inches gets spotted at In N Out Burger (drink!) by Jakob with a K (drink!), the lead singer of Sublime (drink!). What follows is one of the dumbest conversations we’ve ever been privileged to hear. This then leads to one of the Frotcast’s top two or three Nobel Prize-worthy anthropological theories; Socal bros = saltwater juggalos (drink!).

Next, many are calling it The Most Australian Story Ever: man uses his dog to unsuccessfully bludgeon a murderous crocodile but is mercifully saved by a Sheila having a ciggy and his mate Kevin Bevin, who then blesses us with a wonderful new term for a penis.

Finally, someone tried to assassinate Trump again, but this time it was a libbed out soyboy who geared up for murder and then took a mirror selfie doing the Lin-Manuel Miranda lip bite. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?? Perhaps making campaign pledges to only the most insane people in America and then aggressively doing the opposite has some sort of deleterious effect on said crazy people. Who can really know what is in anyone’s heart though? The Frotcast’s official BPD GF Olivia Reingold did what any good WCHP dinner journalist would do and documented the action by taking a selfie video. You can poison our houseplants any day, girl. 🤙😁!

-Description by Brendan.

Chickity China the Chinese Wall

As Pete welcomes a new life into the world, we welcome a new podcast into the world. Comedian, dog walker, cohost of the Oh Hell Yeah podcast, absolute unit, and producer of the podcast, Brent Flyberg, joins Matt and Vince to discuss Mad Men season four episode eleven, “Chinese Wall.”

That’s right, Pete’s having a baby, and it’s just about the worst time possible. The whole office is in crisis mode after finding out that Lucky Strike is taking their business to BBDO. Pete’s running around making phone calls and fighting off Ted Chaough’s professional advances while poor Trudy is in labor for two full days because according to her doctor, that grip is medically gorilla.

Don’s freaking out and trying to get (not a real) Doctor Miller to spill her closely guarded business secrets and help him poach her clients from other ad agencies. She resists at first, but gives into that ineffable Draper charm right after he shtups his second secretary of the season. She’ll certainly never regret abandoning her principles for such a loyal guy.

What makes a wall Chinese? No racist answers. Tell us in a five star review on Apple Podcasts. 

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030.

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for Draper aka Gay Apparel, Finger Lickin’, Sloth, Apples, & Elvira.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

This week! On The Frotcast!! Lots of exclamation points!!! Also, we watched the Netflix doc Trust Me: The False Prophet. We have Prominent Mormon Eric D Snider, who joins us after a decade-long break from the virtual Frotquarters. It turns out that he hasn’t been on the pod since he was kicked off Rotten Tomatoes for trolling Batman fans, who shockingly did not take kindly to a handsome, roguish bon vivant who answers to no one and plays by his own rules.

Next up, we all get a good laugh out of Weirdest Freak Alive RFK Jr making some Weird Freak noises into his microphone while addressing Congress today. Somewhere in LA, the juice is loose for Olivia Nuzz. Is it ableist to make fun of his voice? Well, it’s complicated; you see, haha jk fuck that guy. To atone, we sit our white asses down and pretend to know what intersectionality is.

Vince struggles with time and space as we talk about ANOTHER geriatric Democrat dying in office. HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO A DELIBERATIVE BODY WHOSE AVERAGE AGE IS SOCIAL SECURITY ELIGIBLE?????

Did you feel a great disturbance this week? As if millions of voices suddenly cried out and were suddenly silenced? Are you sitting down? Alan Dershowitz is leaving the Democratic party and  leaving a snail trail on his way to the GOP. I realize everyone cares a whole lot about this, but I guess I’m just built different.

Finally, we all watched the FLDS chomo doc about guys named Moroni and Rappylee diddling a bunch of kids. The ringleader has a white leather motorcycle jacket and is perhaps one of the great oafs in our nation’s history. It’s real gross, don’t watch it.

-description by Brendan.

Don Draper Dodges Department of Defense Disquisition 

If anyone from the DoD asks, this podcast is not for communists. On the latest episode, comedian and co-host of Struggle Bus Live, Nick Viagas, joins Matt & Vince to talk about Mad Men season four episode ten, “Hands and Knees.”

Tough week for the fellas at SCDP. Lane’s papa comes to visit and he’s so excited to meet Lane’s new “chocolate bunny” girlfriend (Lane’s words) that he bashes his son in the head with a cane. British people have weird ways of showing affection. 

Don’s got G-men sniffing around for a background check related to Pete’s North American Aviation account, and they show up at Betty’s doorstep to ask if her ex-husband “Don Draper” is “loyal.” She’s like, uhhhh he’s definitely not a different guy with a different name. Ultimately what he is is a deserter so, much to Pete’s chagrin, they have to spike the NAA deal. 

Roger might win the award for maddest man this week. Joan is pregnant despite being married to a guy who’s in Vietnam, and Lucky Strike is taking their business to BBDO. Roger responds by promising to raise the child with Joan as his wife, and tells the partners about Lucky Strike immediately so they can form a plan. Lol yeah right. He suggests Joan could trick her husband into raising the kid as his own, yells at Pete for losing the NAA account, and doesn’t say a word about losing SCDP’s biggest, and his only, account. It’s too bad Joan got an abortion, it would have been fun seeing how terrible Roger is at being a parent for a young child. 

How would you fight your dad? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for Reese’s, Riddler, & Herring.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

Today, on a special episode of the Frotcast, Vince has an important announcement vis a vis his involvement with Jeffrey Epstein. Namely, that there is none. Please disregard any other information on said subject, those are simply fake news media narratives from so-called journalists who are doing a clickbait. We ask that you respect his privacy at this time. TOTALLY EXONERATED!

JD Vance continues his hot streak of being a loser, as not only did Trump send him straight to voicemail while Vance was at a rally in Hungary (as covered by us last week), but now the candidate he was there to stump for also got tossed on his ass. Then, after converting to Catholicism like last year or something, he has to take Trump’s side in his beef with The Pope (who is soft on crime!!!!) just like the good little worm he is. He also got his ass kicked trying to stop us from bombing Iran and blockading the Strait of Hormuz…blockade. Say it with me everybody, “humiliation fetish”. This guy really puts the Ls in HiLLbLLy ELegy, am I right folks?

And where was Trump during all this? He was marveling at Big Beautiful Paulo Costa at a UFC event in Miami, and then posted an AI image of himself as Jesus on his Make-A-Wish-ass social network. Stop making us like you so much, dude! He later claimed the image was “doctored”, which then leads to a long discussion of our president’s rich history of being unable to understand even the most basic metaphor.

We all watched Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice and actually kinda liked it. Solid B+. This segues into a conversation about how the original Road House (which Matt watched and didn’t even tell us, like a real asshole) had great fight scenes, and old man (us) yells at cloud (they don’t make fight scenes like they used to). We all agree that Road House is pretty sweet, and that we should watch that for the next episode. Too bad we’ll probably forget. Thanks for listening!

Can We Interest You in a Hard Time?

The girls are beautiful, the men are mad, and the pod is cast. Co-owner and editor of Defector, and co-host of the It’s Christmastown podcast, David J. Roth returns to talk to Matt and Vince about Mad Men season four episode nine, “The Beautiful Girls.”

Pour one out for Ida Blankenship. She was an astronaut, a hellcat, and she died how she lived, surrounded by the people she answered phones for. Ida dropping dead at her desk is one of a handful of problems Don is dealing with in this episode. It’s a real sitcom for ol’ Dick Whitman. His daughter is showing up unannounced, his situationship can’t talk to kids, he needs to get his secretary’s body out of the office before the important business men see her, and he’s going on a date with two different women on the same night?!?!?

Ida was sort of Burt’s Joan, so he’s sad in a poignant way. Roger’s also sad, but Roger but in a horny way, so he does parlay this tragedy, along with a street mugging, into some hot sympathy sex with his Joan on a stoop in Harlem. If we’re ever unfortunate enough to get mugged, may we all be so lucky as to immediately have sex afterwards. 

Are you mad that Matt did a parody of a more recent song? Let us know in a five star review on  Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for O’Lincoln, The Judge, & Quigley.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

Welcome back to this week’s Frotcast, the second dumbest podcast on the internet after the All-In.

First up, a landmark legal case we will all be following intently: can someone be sued for a podcast bit? HEY GROK DELETE THE ENTIRE BACKLOG OF THE FROTCAST! A comedian is being sued for jokingly alleging (notice the ass-covering legalese from us) that the famous Lion King song translated to a warning about a lion, possibly a royal one. It’s going to be wild when Afroman is cited as legal precedent in this one. How do you say “because I got high” in Zulu?

Next, we listen as JD Vance gets sent to voice mail by Donald Trump while addressing the crowd at a rally in Hungary. Men will literally humiliate themselves voluntarily in front of a crowd at a former Soviet satellite instead of going to therapy. At this point, reasonable minds can only conclude that all these weirdos have a humiliation fetish.

Trump does, however, show up to tell us about what he got up to after the Village People show.

And finally, the tragic story of Jonathan, the world’s oldest tortoise, becoming ensnared in a crypto fraud scheme. I can assure you he’s alive, well, and hates it here every bit as much as you do.

Vince and Brendan peer into the dark heart of the American dream of home ownership. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get ready to foster a burning resentment over the course of decades. Could it eventually culminate in grievous bodily harm or death? Only the voices in your head can tell you that.

Harrison Fishman and Dylan Redford join the pod to discuss their outstanding HBO series, Neighbors. We discuss what it was like to be a fly on the wall with folks like Bruce, and nude Danny, freak show allegations, and what that smell like. Finally, we wrap things up with a nice teaser about when to expect season 2.

Additionally, you can read Vince’s spectacular piece on the spectacular finale here.

The Lummer Man

You don’t need a drink. You need to listen to this week’s episode of the pod. Comedian and host of the I Hate Bill Maher podcast, Will Weldon joins Matt & Vince to talk about Mad Men season four episode eight, “The Summer Man.”

Don’s been so drunk lately that Betty doesn’t want him at his son’s birthday party, so in this episode, tries to chill out with the boozing by replacing it with swimming, journaling, and narrating. There is some question about whether the narration is supposed to make Don sound cool and smart, but the podcast’s official position is that saying things like “I looked up at The Barbizon, and thought of all the women in there—one in every room, touching themselves to sleep,” makes him sound like a weird old dork. 

Back at the office, Joey goes full mask-off misogynist when Joan asks him to clean up after himself, because Joan is just like his mom. His mom who was always trying to make everyone look at her big knockers. I’m paraphrasing, but he does say that. He probably should have been fired on the spot for saying something so sus, but his last straw was drawing some erotic art featuring Joan. Peggy has no choice but to go full girlboss and show him the door. If Joey were a modern guy he would start a podcast so terrible he’d meet Louis Theroux. 

Can you swim faster than Jon Hamm? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Noodle, Raspberry, & The Wrestler.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

(via Angel Studios)

Welcome back to the Frotcast, where we really have to hand it to the weird annoying guys who think we’re living in a simulation, because this week’s news stories appear to prove that this shit is glitching out.

First, Charlie Kirk’s mentor (?), who was also a “cheerleading tycoon” (??), died during a freak pickleball accident (???). Does anyone smell burnt toast?

Next up, a quadruple amputee professional cornhole player (????) shot and killed (?????) a passenger in the car he was driving (??????). His inevitable biopic is sure to be a must-see, but it’s really a shame that If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is already taken. Boy it sure smells like natural gas in here.

Next in Headlines We Wrote While on Mushrooms, Google suspended the advertising account of an Atlanta-based influencer following the exposure of a months-long, international ad campaign attempting to recruit family members of Iranian government officials as agents of Israel’s foreign intelligence service, the Mossad (???????). Looking forward to the sequel to Munich, Atlanta, where Iranian double agents enact swift retribution upon those who knock the Sigma Hustle Grindset. MK Ultra never ended.

Finally, we watched the new Kevin James movie, O Solo Mio, about a charming schlub who is charmingly and schlubbily stood up at his wedding in Italy, and then charmingly schlubs around the country eating, praying and Blarting. Tired: reading the Wikipedia article of a movie instead of seeing it. Wired: reading the Wikipedia article of a movie instead of listening to a podcast about it because Matt reads it out loud after he admits he couldn’t be bothered to watch it. We promise to maybe try harder next time, or possibly the time after that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qC-2Kkz7ia8

That’s What the Podcast’s For

You give us money, and we make podcasts for you. That’s the job. We have another banger for you this week. Dave Manheim of Dopey Podcast returns to talk to Matt & Vince about Mad Men season four episode seven, “The Suitcase.”

Is this the best episode of Mad Men? There’s certainly a lot to unpack. Get it? Suitcase?  Unpack? Whatever, that joke is at least as funny as Peggy’s idea for a Samsonite ad. Mad Men would literally rather work all night (and drink a whole bottle of Canadian Club) than go to therapy, so instead of talking to someone about the grief he’s feeling about his dying California cool girl wife, Anna, Don makes Peggy stay late to keep working the Samsonite ad with him. He ruins Peggy’s birthday surprise in the process, and he never even says thank you, but as he notes, that is what the money's for.

That could be a whole episode right there, but there’s also a Liston vs. Ali fight, Roger making fun of recovering alcoholics, Ida Blankenship saying racist stuff, drunk Duck Phillips trying to poach Peggy, and full on fisticuffs between Don and Duck. Who wins? The guy who killed seventeen men in Okinawa, that’s who. 

Does Don not know how to throw a punch, or does Jon Hamm not know how to throw a punch? Tell us your thoughts in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for Cap’n Crunch, The Spatula, #1, & Dolla.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

In brief: Matt's spicy bottom, the Afroman trial, Lyin' Markwayne Mullin, and we all watched War Machine on Netflix. Brent Flyberg (producer of Pod Yourself, host of Oh Hell Yeah!) fills in for Brendan.

Matt Lieb is very tired this week. If you assumed that's because toddler kept him awake all night, as toddlers are wont to do... you would be wrong! Matt being Matt, it turns out that he just ate a very hot chicken sandwich the day before and was up all night going doo-doo. He also claims the spicy poops heat up his prostate and make his balls hurt. Can any medical experts out there confirm that this is a thing? Or is Matt Lieb just BUILT DIFFERNT (with the balls to close to the ass)?

After that, oh baby it's time to discuss the Afroman trial and God bless this man for giving us something good to talk about. In short, an Ohio Sheriff's department raided Afroman's house and found nothing illegal, but broke a lot of his stuff, and, he claims, stole $400. And so naturally he released like 20 different music videos clowning them in increasingly petty ways -- including one based on an overweight Sheriff glancing longingly at Afroman's Lemon Pound Cake. The Sheriffs sued Afroman for defamation, and as per the law of unintended outcomes, the trial has since turned into a self-staged public humiliation ritual for them. Glorious. Afroman for President. The news that Afroman had won said trial dropped after we finished recording, but let's be honest, we all knew that's what was going to happen.

What else is in the news... oh right, Markwayne Mullin, in true Trump cabinet fashion, is apparently an even worse liar than Matt's childhood friend Nick the Bitch, who once claimed his dad was the coach of the Dodgers. In fairness, Nick the Bitch was a child, whereas Markwayne (pick a name, asshole!) was a full adult when he reportedly claimed, to a jiu-jitsu coach, that he (Markwayne) had once beaten a Gracie so badly that they asked him to move to Brazil and train them in wrestling. And no, he could not remember which Gracie he had beaten. Obviously!

Finally, we all watched War Machine, and no not the Netflix movie from 2017 starring Brad Pitt (which was good) or something based on the Marvel character, but an entirely DIFFERENT War Machine, in which Alan "Jack Reacher on Prime" Ritchson plays an aspiring Army Ranger with trauma. It starts off as a Troop Movie and then veers a hard left into being an alien movie about 30 minutes in, with an insane amount of slapstick falling. Very entertaining, but if anyone could tell us what the hell was going on with this movie or why it was ever made at all or called "War Machine" that would be great.

"Don't talk! Do not say a word! I hate it when guys talk to me while I jack them off!"

The Cure for the Common Podcast

Roll out the red carpet. We have an award-worthy guest for this week’s pod. Host of The Majority Report, Sam Seder joins Matt and Vince to talk about Mad Men season four episode six, “Waldorf Stories.”

It’s the advertising industry’s biggest night, and all the stars are in attendance, including Ned Elliot, Ted Chaough, General Rufus T. Bullshit, Ken Cosgrove, Herman “Duck” Phillips, and the night's big winner for Best Cleansers, Waxes, & Polishes, Don Draper of SCDP. 

Riding the high of being crowned the new king of Madison Avenue, Don returns to the office in the beginning stage of what he’ll later recognize as a bender to riff taglines for Life Cereal off the dome and blurt out Roger’s wife’s cousin’s only copywriting idea. You may remember the scene, as it is responsible for Mad Men’s widest reaching cultural impact, the drunk Don meme.

Tell us your picks for this year’s Clio pool in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Shrew, Scary Spice, & Twilight.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

Welcome back to another episode of The Frotcast; on this podcast we hold space for opera singers and ballerinas. Dave Weigel joins us this week to talk current events and Marty Supreme.

To kick things off, we take advantage of having a real-deal reporter on the show to talk about current events. Dave takes us through the latest on the Iran War and what it means: nothing! We’re still trying to figure out if we’d like to get drafted and die in Iran, or stay here and die of Measles. Choices, choices.

Because this is now a looksmaxxing podcast, we discuss Clavicular. More importantly, Brendan has a bone to pick with the fellas for not appreciating his one-word message in the group chat: cloacular. These philistines don’t understand true art when they see it. Chatmogged.

We are unfortunately discussing Glenn Beck again, and his good pal AI George Washington. General Sloppington makes some very interesting insights into the current situ-haha just kidding. He makes a bunch of mouth sounds that resemble coherent sentences as Beck drools in awe. As they say online “this must hit so hard if you’re a dumbass”.

Finally, we discuss Marty Supreme. Once again, Josh Safdie brings us a tense, grimy NYC thriller with stunt casting and parts that have no business working, yet do anyway. Case in point: Mr Wonderful from Shark Tank plays a major role and knocks it out of the park. May we humbly suggest a starring role for Senor Wonderful in a Harry S Truman biopic? Finally, we round things up with some Oscar prognosticating. Please do not bet on our favorites, unless you win and then you have to give us a cut. By reading this sentence you have agreed to the above terms. Thank you.

The Chrysanthelumlum and the Bum Bum

You better go to the store and grab a cantaloupe. We have a guest who expects gifts. Creator of Strip Law on Netflix, Cullen Crawford, joins Matt & Vince to talk about Mad Men season four episode five, “The Chrysanthemum and the Sword.”

Mad Men is, if nothing else, a television show, which means there has to be at least one episode in which important Japanese businessmen need to be impressed. Honda’s motorcycle men are shopping for a new ad agency and if you thought Roger was racist before, you’ve never seen him interact with people from the country whose servicemen killed his buddies in Dubya Dubya II. He does his best to verbally A-bomb the deal, but Don hatches a plan to impress Honda while dunking on Ted Chaough.

You don’t get to be that good at your job without also neglecting your kids, so on his one night with Sally and Bobby, he leaves them with his neighbor Phoebe so he can go on a date. While he’s gone, Sally cuts her own hair. Betty is pissed because she lacks the foresight to understand her new do would be very chic in Silver Lake today. 

What should we order at Benihana? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Canoe, Rouge, & Winner.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

Returning champion Joe Sinclitico joins us this week to discuss current events, both geopolitical and celebrity, plus The Housemaid. Will he come up with a pithy name for Mein Kampf 3? Tune in!

But first, we invite three enormous dumbasses to discuss the world’s HOTTEST new war with Iran. Incidentally, it’s the same three dumbasses on the rest of the show, too. While it’s too early to determine who will take over in Iran, Reza Pahlavi appears to be in the driver’s seat, abandoning his cushy life in the DC burbs to potentially return to the country that deposed his dad almost half a century ago. Let’s see how this plays out.

Meanwhile, Pete Buttigieg is back and he’s trying on a new persona like he’s in a glow-up montage. Personally, I think “guy who is insanely horny for military vehicles” looks a bit strange on him, probably because he’s an autumn. USED TO HAVE HIGH HIGH HOPES FOR A LIVIN NOW IM JACKIN OFF WHEN THE MISSILES START KILLIN. Oh wait this bit was about Pete Hegseth, not Buttigieg, but I don’t feel like writing another joke.

At long last, Shia LaBeouf’s reign of terror in the city of New Orleans is over. He sits down with Andrew Callaghan to talk about his hatred of Mike Piazza, and kissing Jesus. We simply must shut the Disney Channel down before it ruins all of our favorite child stars.

Finally, we all watched Housemaid, starring Sydney Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried. It’s a schlocky thriller about a young woman (Sweeney) who goes to live as a maid with a seemingly perfect family, but below the surface, things may be exactly as weird as you’d expect for people with this much money. Spare a moment for poor Sydney, an excellent actress who would likely be taken more seriously if not for her notoriously well-endowed chest. Anyway, we gave it three awoogas and a homina homina.

Return of the Rat King 

Pete’s gonna have a baby soon, but you’ve got a podcast right now. Once and future rat king and tech reporter for the New York Times, Mike Isaac, joins Matt & Vince to break down Mad Men season four episode four, “The Rejected.”

The title of the episode is definitely not in reference to Pete’s sperm, because Trudy’s egg has accepted one of them with open coronae radiatae. He’s excited to have a little Pete running around, presumably a little freak like his father, but he’s even more excited to immediately leverage his progeny for a business opportunity. He’s some kind of high WASP alright.

This episode is really about two of the very different possible outcomes of sexual intercourse. Trudy is with child, but after having sex with Don, Allison is bawling in focus groups and throwing paperweights around. Don, you ol’ rascal, you’ve done it again (driven a woman insane with your carelessness).

Type up your own letter of recommendation in five-star review on Apple Podcasts and we’ll sign. 

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Bus, Bimmer, The Dude, JoRo, The Kuiet Strom.

-Description by Brent Flyberg  

This week we welcome Chandler Dean from Abolish Everything! to shoot the shit and talk about Predator: Badlands.

But first….DISCOURSE. Somebody yelled the n-word at Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo during the BAFTAs. No, it wasn’t Yeezy (pause for laughter). The slur-hurler in question is a white guy (GASP!) from the UK (DOUBLE GASP!)...who suffers from Tourette’s Syndrome and advocates for wider acceptance across the world (Home Improvement sound). Are there takes? There are takes. Are they tedious? You’d better believe it. Does that stop us from talking about it for at least 30 minutes? Subscribe to find out!

Secretary of Homeland Security/dog murderer/bad plastic surgery haver Kristi Noem is in the news again, as it turns out her story about deporting a cannibal who began to eat himself on the plane….didn’t have any meat on the bone. Who needs ICE when you got this stone cold liar around, am I right? Sorry for the dad jokes, sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from being murdered by the secret police.

Next, we take a trip into the dark heart of San Francisco to see what the tech bros are up to. To no one’s surprise, the answer is “a bunch of weird shit that normal people find completely repellent”. I’m sorry, my AI-powered glasses told me to say that.

Finally, we talk about Predator: Badlands. It’s a great movie about family, trauma, family trauma, and having a badass plasma sword. Our verdict? He went to the death planet in search of a trophy, and came back with the greatest trophy of all: friendship.

They’re not Homosexuals, They’re Divorced

Great news, it’s a Don in California episode of Mad Men and a banger episode of the pod. Head of video at Yahoo Sports and OG friend of the Frot, Matt Ufford, joins Matt and Vince to talk about season four episode three, “The Good News.”

It’s too bad Anna Draper has to die. Don really couldn’t ask for a cooler, chiller girl to be the wife of the guy whose identity he stole. All she wants from him is to hang out, smoke grass, nail her teenage niece, and keep paying her mortgage. It’s a sweet deal for everyone involved, but all sweet deals must come to end. Anna’s got (leg?) cancer. She’s gonna die, and Don is sad about it. 

The good news for you the viewer is that Mad Men is often funniest when the mad men are sad men. Back in New York, one of Mad Men’s saddest men, Lane Pryce, is feeling very divorced and ready to hang, so they catch a Godzilla flick, get crowd worked by Finn DeTrolio, and end the night with some sex workers. It sounds pathetic, but feeling so pathetic is what motivates a man to pretend his steak is a big ol’ Texas belt buckle.

What movie did you see when you got divorced? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. 

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-Description by Brent Flyberg