Bad Bunny rapped in Spanish and wafted his Puerto Rican penis very lasciviously at us over the weekend, which has us questioning both our marriages and our sexuality. Crotchmaxxing? Anyway, Brendan had a spa emergency this week (one downside of living all our dreams by reinventing himself as a blue collar worker) but not to fear, Sean Keane from Roundball Rock is here.

What's on our minds this week, you ask? Besides Bad Bunny's lasciviously wafted penis? Well, there's the charming account from the guy who played the bush in Bad Bunny's Super Bowl show (Dearest Lucretia...), but also the unhinged reactions of all the most stalwart Republicans in congress. Who are CONVINCED that Bad Bunny should be INVESTIGATED for his CRIMINAL SPEECH over the public's airwaves, which they will DEFINITELY DO once they find one person to actually TRANSLATE it for them. ("Like the Navajo code talkers but it's just a guy speaking Spanish," -some guy).

What else is in the news... Oh, LOTS of stuff. Like the Norwegian biathlete (heterosexual biathlete, that is) who devoted his Bronze Medal speech to apologizing to his girlfriend for cheating on her six months ago. Seems like an absolutely doomed effort and thoroughly embarrassing for all parties, but who knows, maybe things are different in Norway.

Elsewhere in Olympics news, some Czech ice dancers asked AI to write them a 90s song to dance to, and the AI just plagiarized the lyrics to "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals. "Sir, I think I see the problem here. Looks like your computer has the Dreamer's Disease."

Shoulda ran that through a plagiarism Czech before you danced to it, you ask me. Sean tries to teach Matt how to looksmaxx (you have to hit yourself in the face with hammers, but on the plus side jestermogging is probably superior for attracting foids) and he spends much of the subsequent show mewing. (I dunno, man, I'm just stringing syllables together at this point).

Finally, we round things off with some Epstein stuff, like commerce secretary Howard Lutnick's glorious defense of his Epstein lunch ("Well sure I had lunch with him, but I didn't give him any of my children") and Katie Couric (!!) complimenting Ol Jeff on a "rockin lasagna."

Spare a thought for the rockin lasagna? It's the rockin' lasagna, and the Bad Bunny too