Grandpa Pudding Brains has spent a week making up reasons he calls Michigan's Abdul El-Sayed "Mohammed," as if we don't already understand. Apparently, after reading the man's full legal name, Encyclopedia Trump made a huge discovery and announced today: "his middle name is Mohammed." — Read the rest

The post Dementia Don discovers Abdul El-Sayed's middle name is Mohamed and declares victory over "a jihadist" appeared first on Boing Boing.

Coincidentally, at the same time, not a puppet but a convicted criminal, Donald Trump wants Ukraine to stop blowing up Russian oil refineries; someone inside the White House ordered Ukraine's Starshield military satellite service to be slowed to a crawl.

Diaper Don calls the attacks a "disgrace," and blames them, not his war in Iran, for skyrocketing energy prices. — Read the rest

The post Trump wants Ukraine to stop hitting Russian refineries. The White House throttled the wrong drones appeared first on Boing Boing.

Katie Zacharia will no longer have to struggle with the public-speaking part of the White House Press Secretary job, as she was fired. The White House calls this: "transitioning into a new role."

On Tuesday, the White House celebrated its new Press Secretary, Katie Zacharia, for delivering a "commanding inaugural press briefing." — Read the rest

The post Katie Zacharia's first White House press briefing was also her last appeared first on Boing Boing.

Trump's latest press secretary failed the California bar and has never been admitted to practice law anywhere in the United States of America. Despite this, Zacharia claims she has been very careful when calling herself "a lawyer."

Our new White House press secretary claims she consulted "many people in the field" to ask whether having a J.D. — Read the rest

The post Katie Zacharia says she was "very careful" about calling herself a lawyer after failing the bar appeared first on Boing Boing.

Former congressperson from the state of Florida and oft-accused sex trafficker Matt Gaetz has long said he'd like to face his accusers. Two of them just sued him, alleging he participated in a sex-trafficking scheme.

After years of saying he'd like to confront his accusers, Jane Doe 1 and Jane Doe 2 have filed a lawsuit against Matt Gaetz, giving him the opportunity. — Read the rest

The post Trump's almost-attorney general Matt Gaetz is now a defendant in a sex-trafficking lawsuit appeared first on Boing Boing.

Facebook CEO and noted alien presence on Earth Mark Zuckerberg took one sip of Guinness and gave the world a face that Famous Campaigns immediately turned into a spec ad for the famous beer brand.

The inevitable billboard: three frames of Zuck trying to process the stout followed by "It's not for everyone. — Read the rest

The post Spec Guinness ad captures the brilliance of stout and lets Mark Zuckerberg be the punchline appeared first on Boing Boing.

Having just promised the American people that robots would not take over the country, Donald Trump announced he'd like a robot to do his job, so he can sit home and watch TV.

"You wouldn't know the difference," claimed Diaper Don, describing his replacement: Bender J. — Read the rest

The post Trump would like a robot Trump to campaign while human Trump watches Trump on TV appeared first on Boing Boing.

Merely a day after his boss Diaper Don described inspecting Jon Husted's ass, JD Vance told a male supporter "I love you too" before urgently specifying that it was "totally platonic."

Polling suggests this clever new campaign strategy isn't working. Republicans appear poised to lose the House and quite possibly the Senate. — Read the rest

The post A day after Trump describes ogling Jon Husted's butt, JD Vance delivers a "totally platonic" pledge of love appeared first on Boing Boing.

The Wall Street Journal reports that Texas Attorney General and US Senate candidate Ken Paxton faces yet another major scandal. This time it's his partying with fugitives from the DOJ who also happen to be large donors to him.

Looks like James Talarico can add another scandal to that hilarious anti-Ken Paxton ad. — Read the rest

The post Ken Paxton celebrated New Year's Eve in Dubai with two fugitives. One had donated $190,000 to him appeared first on Boing Boing.

Katie Zacharia appears to struggle as she tries to fill the brimstone-reeking shoes of her predecessor.

Unable to even read a prepared statement clearly, Trump's new mouthpiece doesn't seem to have the spite, anger, or public-speaking ability the job requires. Her first briefing lasted about 14 minutes, during which she stumbled over her remarks and only took three questions, all from suck-up media outlets. — Read the rest

The post Trump's new press secretary is unprepared for the public-speaking part of the job appeared first on Boing Boing.

BMW declined to supply the newly elected leader of Germany's far-right Alternative fuer Deutchland with a car. So they asked Elon Musk, who is notoriously friendly to their sort of politics.

Germany's sadly rising far right has lost its complimentary BMW; luckily for bigotry, they immediately knew who to call. — Read the rest

The post BMW won't give Germany's far right a company car, so they called Elon Musk appeared first on Boing Boing.

Diaper Donald heard Jon Husted had been a standout football player, so he examined the senator's body, looked at his ass and hands, and announced his approval.

Convicted felon Donald Trump recently learned that Jon Husted was a pretty good football player, and decided to check out the Ohio Senator's physique. — Read the rest

The post "I don't do this with men very often": Trump describes examining Jon Husted's ass, hands, and body appeared first on Boing Boing.

Squirrels were melting into the ground during the last Southern California heatwave.

Scientists explain "splooting" as rodents spreading out to expose as much of their thermal mass as possible to the cooler ground. It looks cute, but residents should still avoid squirrels as the nefarious criminal masterminds of the wild animal world. — Read the rest

The post The splootin' squirrels of SoCal are keepin' cool appeared first on Boing Boing.

On nice, sunny days in Southern California, people usually visit the beach. Today, however, the beach is moving into residential neighborhoods.

A hurricane is east and south of Baja California, a record heatwave just broke, and the Super El Niño doesn't give a damn, or it would probably just pass right over a dam, too. — Read the rest

The post Sunny, 80 degrees, and Newport Beach is flooding appeared first on Boing Boing.

Trump spent millions in taxpayer money to put self-aggrandizing tripe on TV. A focus group of former supporters suggests the ads may be doing exactly the opposite of winning them back.

The Bulwark shared one of Trump's ego ads with some MAGAs whose enthusiasm has waned. — Read the rest

The post Maybe Trump's taxpayer-funded ads are a public service after all appeared first on Boing Boing.

A crazy spectacle erupted when a 20-inch Harvest Midstream natural-gas pipeline exploded Tuesday afternoon near La Boca, New Mexico, shooting flames an estimated 50 to 100 feet into the air and setting the surrounding brush and trees on fire.

Residents near La Boca described the pipeline explosion as sounding like an F-16 taking off in their neighbor's yard. — Read the rest

The post New Mexico pipeline explodes, launches 100-foot flames and starts a wildfire appeared first on Boing Boing.

Diaper Don is name-calling and attempting to use race to turn voters against a Michigan candidate for the U.S. Senate.

Repeating his earlier "slip" of calling Abdul El-Sayed "Mohammed," Trump now plays with the man's entire name and says it is because he feels like it. — Read the rest

The post Trump admits he deliberately misnames Michigan's Abdul El-Sayed appeared first on Boing Boing.

Having no remotely credible reason to encourage voters to consider Mike Rogers over Abdul El-Sayed, America's angriest President resorted to racially motivated name-calling.

Diaper Don pulled out all the stops on his classic rhetoric of hate: calling Abdul "Mohammed," invoking "jihad," and attempting to declare El-Sayed "a terrorist sympathizer." — Read the rest

The post Trump resorts to misnaming Michigan's Abdul El-Sayed appeared first on Boing Boing.

Rebranding Artificial Intelligence as "Super" Intelligence will work about as well as rebranding data centers as "theme parks."

Following Donald Trump's lead, billionaire and phallic-shaped rocket enthusiast Jeff Bezos says he prefers calling AI "SI" because nobody likes artificial sweetener or artificial flavoring, and "artificial" sounds as fake as AI is. — Read the rest

The post Jeff Bezos explains AI by comparing it to other things people don't want appeared first on Boing Boing.

Somehow, intending to leave people thinking he meant he is protecting Southern California, home to a good percentage of the United States military might, R&D, and educational institutions, Grandpa Pudding Brains once again invites Iran to shoot missiles it does not have at the United States. — Read the rest

The post "A missile into San Diego or Los Angeles," Trump again describes the danger he brought home appeared first on Boing Boing.