This is the week the sky officially trades its cardigan for black leather, stargazer. Sunday’s First Quarter Moon hands out a firm shove toward whatever you’ve been circling since the New Moon. Tuesday gets intense when Pluto’s square to Venus peaks, and anything you’ve been pretending not to want could come pouring out. Let it spill. Feelings are allowed to be messy. Wednesday’s Pisces Moon follows up with a warm hug and a little perspective.

Friday opens Scorpio season, and Venus cozies up to the Sun that very night, making the whole world a little bit obsessive. On Saturday, Mercury goes retrograde right in the middle of it all, egged on by squares from Jupiter and Mars. So yes, an ex might resurface, and a plan or two could implode. Read everything twice and sleep on anything spicy before you reply. Scorpio season was never, ever going to be boring.

How will your sign fare this week?

Aries: March 21 – April 19

That little typing bubble pops up and then vanishes, and you’re already pacing around the living room. Mars starts squaring Mercury on Thursday, Aries, which turns every slow reply into a test of your patience. You’ll want to send a follow-up, then a follow-up to the follow-up. Put the phone down and let them answer on their own sweet time.

Mercury turns retrograde on Saturday, so expect a few crossed wires and at least one message that gets read the wrong way. Assume good intent before you fire back. By evening, the Moon trines Mars and hands you a burst of energy that needs somewhere to go. Spend it on a long run or a dance floor instead of an argument.

Aries monthly horoscope

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

Ever notice how your body reads someone long before your brain catches up? Venus pairs with Haumea, the dwarf planet of instinct, from Sunday through Tuesday, so trust those gut reactions, Taurus. Pluto’s square to Venus peaks Tuesday too, dragging a relationship’s power balance into the open. Your instincts already know exactly who’s been pulling their weight and who hasn’t.

After that, Wednesday’s Moon trines Venus and makes it easier to say what you noticed calmly, without starting a fight. On Friday, Venus meets the Sun in Scorpio, your opposite sign and the part of the sky tied to partnership. Whoever belongs in your inner circle will be remarkably easy to spot. Hold onto them a little tighter this weekend.

Taurus monthly horoscope

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

A name you haven’t seen in years is about to light up your phone. Mercury stations retrograde in Scorpio on Saturday, and the days leading up to it have a habit of dragging old connections back into view. Curiosity is your love language, Gemini, so you’ll want to dive right in. Before you reply, take a beat and wonder why now.

Jupiter’s square to Mercury can make the good old days look a lot rosier than they were, and Mars adds its own square on Thursday, so old arguments could flare right back up. Late that night, a gentle Moon trine to Mercury helps you sense whether this reunion has a future or just a past. Trust whatever answer you get.

Gemini monthly horoscope

Cancer: June 21 – July 22

The holiday plans are already creeping into family conversations, and it’s barely Halloween. Sunday’s First Quarter Moon in Capricorn asks you to make a call instead of letting everyone else decide for you. Pick where you’d like to spend the season and who you’d like close by. Guilt will try to cast a vote, Cancer. Your comfort counts here, too.

Wednesday is your best day to share the plan. With the Moon in fellow water sign Pisces trining both the Sun and Venus, even the touchiest relative should take it surprisingly well. If someone grumbles anyway, Saturday morning’s Moon-Saturn conjunction helps you stand firm without raising your voice. You can protect your peace and still be the warmest person there.

Cancer monthly horoscope

Leo: July 23 – August 22

Brace yourself for someone who’s absolutely convinced they should be calling the shots. Pluto starts squaring the Sun this week, Leo, which brings out the control freaks in your orbit just as the Sun slides into Scorpio on Friday. Your first instinct will be to out-roar them, and that’s exactly the fight they’re hoping for. So don’t hand it over.

Charm is your better weapon here, especially once Jupiter’s lucky streak fades. On Friday, Venus joins the Sun and makes you magnetic enough to win people over without breaking a sweat. Wednesday’s Moon trine to the Sun works as a warm-up, so test out your diplomacy then. Let them posture. You’ll leave with the allies, and they’ll leave wondering what happened.

Leo monthly horoscope

Virgo: August 23 – September 22

While everyone else panics about Mercury going retrograde on Saturday, you’ll be over here color-coding a backup plan. This is basically your championship season, Virgo. Jupiter’s square to Mercury keeps tempting you to expand every project, so lock down the scope while you still can. Double-check the details on anything important before Friday, and you’ll sail through the reversal smoothly.

Fair warning: everyone will want you to untangle their messes, too. Tuesday’s Moon-Mercury square could leave you frazzled if you say yes to all of them. Help the people who’d do the same for you, and let the rest wait. By late Thursday, even with Mars squaring Mercury, a soothing Moon trine to Mercury gives your overworked brain a well-earned break.

Virgo monthly horoscope

Libra: September 23 – October 22

Half the stuff in your closet was bought for someone you used to be. Pluto’s square to Venus peaks Tuesday, bringing an itch to purge whatever no longer matches your taste, Libra. Go with it. Keep the pieces that still make you feel gorgeous, and pass along the rest to someone who’ll love them. That rule works on habits and plans, too.

Wednesday’s Moon trine to Venus makes the cleared-out space feel like a fresh breath. Friday closes out your season as the Sun moves into Scorpio and joins Venus, resetting what you value most. Think of it as a birthday gift to yourself, wrapped in good taste. Spend the weekend surrounded by nothing but the things and people you adore.

Libra monthly horoscope

Scorpio: October 23 – November 21

It’s officially your season as of Friday, and Pluto has no intention of keeping the welcome party low-key. Now direct, Pluto squares both Venus and the Sun in your sign this week, Scorpio, so expect every feeling to come in at full volume. The overnight Moon-Pluto conjunction early Monday might keep you wide awake thinking about someone you can’t shake.

Pluto’s square to Venus peaks Tuesday, pushing you toward the scariest move on the board: letting them see you without the armor. You’ve spent years perfecting that poker face. Retire it for one night and see what happens. Friday night’s supportive Moon-Pluto sextile makes it feel safer to open up than you’d expect. Not a bad way to kick off your birthday month.

Scorpio monthly horoscope

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21

Somewhere out there, a stranger is wrong about something, and you’ve already cracked your knuckles. Jupiter’s square to Mercury pours gasoline on every opinion you’ve got this week, Sagittarius. By Tuesday night, when the Moon opposes Jupiter, you’ll be three soapboxes deep and swearing it’s all for the greater good. Your passion is easily half the reason people adore you.

Here’s the problem. Mercury flips retrograde on Saturday, and every scorching take you toss out this week could come back to haunt you, possibly with witnesses. Jupiter’s sextile to the Sun wraps up Friday, too, so don’t count on charming your way out of it. Win the argument the smart way, by asking one good question first. Then torch them, lovingly.

Sagittarius monthly horoscope

Capricorn: December 22 – January 19

Every new person in your life gets a probation period, and someone’s been stuck in yours for months. Sunday’s First Quarter Moon in your sign marks a decision point, and the sky votes for giving them a fair shot. Your frosty first impression is legendary, Capricorn, but it’s starting to cost you good company. Monday evening’s Moon-Saturn sextile makes the thaw easier.

The good news about this one: they keep coming through. Saturday morning, the Moon joins Saturn and puts their reliability in plain view. They’re not running a scheme or angling for anything. Let them carry something heavy for a change. You might be shocked by how good it feels to split the load with someone who clearly wants to help.

Capricorn monthly horoscope

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18

For a professional rule-breaker, you sure follow a lot of your own rules. Never text first. Never admit you liked the popular thing. Uranus is retrograde, Aquarius, which makes this the perfect week to rebel against the one person you never challenge: yourself. Monday, while the Moon sits in your sign and trines Uranus, pick one rule and break it on purpose.

Wednesday evening’s Moon-Uranus square will try to talk you back into the old script. Ignore it. Text first and ask the dumb question. Admit you love the popular thing, even if your inner contrarian twitches a little. The most punk move available this week is surprising yourself. Odds are those old rules were just fear wearing a cool jacket.

Aquarius monthly horoscope

Pisces: February 19 – March 20

Raise your hand if you’ve mentally moved to a tiny seaside cottage at least twice this month alone. The Moon floats into your sign on Wednesday, Pisces, and those escape fantasies are about to get vivid. Let yourself picture every glorious detail, from the creaky porch to the salty air. Daydreams are where some of your very best plans begin.

Friday evening, the Moon meets Neptune in Aries, and that fiery placement wants your fantasy to earn its keep. You don’t have to quit everything and buy the cottage. Pull one piece of the dream into your actual life, whether that’s a weekend by the water or a candle that smells like the ocean. Tiny doses of magic still count.

Pisces monthly horoscope

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As the self-proclaimed most anxious person in this world, I have faced just about every type of anxiety known to man. But one type that caught my attention online this morning was purpose anxiety, aaka the anxiety experienced when you feel a lack of purpose in life.

I spoke with a therapist about her opinion on this form of anxiety—and how we can all find purpose in our own lives.

What Is Purpose Anxiety?

Purpose anxiety is exactly as it sounds: anxiety about your perceived purpose in life—or lack thereof.

“Purpose anxiety is the discomfort felt about living a life without meaning or strong conviction around what you want to accomplish,” says Dr. Ayla Ludwig, Ph.D., Licensed Professional Counselor, National Certified Counselor, and Certified Career Counselor. “It can create a sense of existential dread where a person fears that their life is worthless and nothing they do matters.”

According to Ludwig, “Viktor Frankl, the father of logotherapy, famously said, ‘He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” Having a sense of purpose is incredibly powerful and can build fortitude, tolerance, and drive in life.

“Feeling like your life has purpose is immensely beneficial,” says Ludwig. “It contributes to resiliency and general life satisfaction. It is often the foundation for goal setting, connection with others, and having something that drives you forward throughout your life.”

How to Find Your Purpose

While having a sense of purpose is important, it’s not always easy to find your own, which can contribute to purpose anxiety.

“Finding a sense of purpose comes down to intentionally choosing to discover meaning in your life,” says Ludwig. “This is cultivated through being curious about your experiences and investigating the personal meaning you find as you connect with other people, contribute to the world through art of volunteer work, or recognizing adversity and acknowledging how you choose to bear it.”

Your purpose doesn’t have to be some life-saving, heroic role you step into each morning. No matter how “small” or “insignificant” it might seem, if it matters to you, that’s all that counts. 

For example, I find purpose in writing my fiction novels, poetry, and even articles like this one. Is that as impactful as, say, curing cancer? Of course, not. But if I help even one person—including myself—feel more connected, inspired, or understood in this world, then I’m living out my purpose.

“You can cultivate meaning on your own by asking yourself: What creative gifts do I have that I can offer others?, What experiences have I received from encountering others in relationships?, and What values have I realized since taking a stance on situations or circumstances?” Ludwig notes. “By answering these questions, you can begin to put together a sense of meaning guided by your life experience.”

And, of course, if you experience crippling purpose anxiety, consider therapy to help address your concerns or lack of fulfillment.

“If you find yourself navigating purpose anxiety, I recommend connecting with a therapist who practices existential or logotherapy,” Ludwig shares. “They will be an excellent guide as you work your way towards discovering meaning in your life.”

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For the past several months, I’ve been writing my second novel—a story that means more to me than I can put into words (and that’s coming from an author). There’s something indescribably fulfilling yet cripplingly vulnerable about crafting an entire world, fit with complex characters and achingly relatable plots, from the depths of your own soul.

It’s an experience I wish everyone could have at some point in their lives, and one that isn’t reserved for just the “professionals.” If you’re interested in writing a book, follow these tips for a more seamless process. 

1. Treat Each Book Like a Marriage

While writing my current book, I’ve been tempted to trash the entire manuscript a handful of times. In fact, over the last few years, I’ve started, discarded, and restarted a few different novels, making little progress on any projects due to my lack of commitment. You can’t write a book when your focus is divided among countless other pursuits.

Writing a book is much like tying the metaphorical knot: you must commit to one idea and find a way to see it through. Sure, there will be plenty of other tempting concepts out there. Some might tease a simpler path, while others might test your loyalty along the way. Choose the story that lights your soul on fire—and prove your dedication until you have nothing else left to give it.

2. Create a Writing Ritual

Sometimes, I feel as though ideas land in my brain from somewhere above—God? The Universe? My higher self who knows exactly what narratives I need to dive into?—and I’m just the conduit for them. When I enter a flow state, words pour out of me so forcefully that it’s difficult for my fingers to keep up. They tip-tap their way across my keyboard as the emotion builds in my chest, seeking its final, poetic escape.

For me, writing is a spiritual experience—and I treat it as such. I have specific candles that are dedicated to novel-writing sessions, curated playlists with songs for each scene, and meditative practices that help me transition back into the world I’m creating. Whatever you need, be it a steaming cup of coffee, a moody environment, or a dozen scattered papers with scribbled notes covering your desk, honor your unique writing ritual.

3. Experiment With Method Acting

Many actors use method acting to improve their performance. This technique helps the artist get into the mind of their character to better understand their thoughts, feelings, perspectives, and quirks. Writers can engage in the same practice.

For example, maybe your main character is an edgy, daring individual, while you—the writer—are cautious and reserved. Challenge yourself to “try on” your character’s traits. Maybe this looks like embracing a bolder style, taking kickboxing, or getting out of your comfort zone in some way. You might be surprised what you learn—both about yourself and your character.

4. Lean Into Passion When You’re Feeling Discouraged

Writing it isn’t always pretty. It takes real guts and grit to be a writer—to transmute your pain for all to witness. And, of course, there are the more logistical aspects of penning a novel: the relentless editing, fact-checking, researching, proofreading, storybuilding…

Not only do you need discipline to keep you in line, but you also need passion and love for your story to carry you through the inspirationless nights. Think back to the marriage metaphor from earlier: If you were in a long-term relationship, you (hopefully) wouldn’t walk away at the first sign of trouble. Instead, you’d choose your person day after day, leaning into your love for them to get through tough times. 

Life is filled with uncomfortable, unflattering, and downright defeating moments. When writing becomes too overwhelming, remember why you started in the first place. The world needs your story.

The post How to Write a Book Without Giving Up on It Halfway Through: A Guide appeared first on VICE.

Shark week has come and gone, but that doesn’t mean we can’t squeeze in a few more shark stories before the year is up.

According to a study published in Marine Biology and detailed by ScienceAlert, scientists analyzing thousands of drone flights off Australia’s east coast discovered that dozens of young scalloped hammerhead sharks are just chilling in the shallow waters right next to popular swimming beaches. The beachgoers are likely just a tiny bit more concerned about the hammerheads than the hammerheads are about the beachgoers.

While reviewing more than 20,000 drone flights for Queensland’s SharkSmart program, researcher Maddison Cross and her team spotted swarms of up to 100 juvenile hammerheads hanging out at tourist hot spots like Burleigh Beach and Noosa Main Beach. These are roughly three-and-a-half-foot-long teenagers.

Why Young Hammerhead Sharks Are Gathering Just off Popular Australian Beaches

The young aquatic predators cluster in shallow surf zones during Australia’s autumn months as scientists suspect that these coastal cluster hangout spots were kind of like a combination safe haven and food court for the sharks, allowing the juveniles to feed on prey that hang out at nearby reefs while offering protection via their safety-in-numbers approach.

Beachgoers are probably worried about shark attacks, but the sharks themselves were the ones in real danger, as these gathering spots overlap with Queensland’s shark control programs, which are often lethal. Shark nets and baited drum lines are responsible for killing over 600 scalloped hammerheads between 2000 and one in 2024; rather unfortunate considering that it’s a critically endangered species.  

Sharks generally mind their own business and will scatter if a human comes near, as evidenced by the fact that paddleboarders and snorkelers occasionally pass through these hang-out clusters, causing the groups to temporarily break up before reforming once the coast is clear, but if you’re planning on a trip down under to take in some of Australia’s gorgeous beaches, just know that there might be hundreds and hundreds of adolescent hammerhead sharks floating just beneath your feet.

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A New Zealand bank is at the center of one of the weirdest freedom of speech debates likely happening in the world right now, as it’s trying to remove sexually explicit memes from the internet depicting its cute mascot, Buck the Sheep.

Kiwibank unveiled a new cartoon mascot named Buck, an adorable sheep with vibrant green wool, kind of giving it the look of a My Little Pony spinoff character. The internet, being the perv freak show that it is, immediately turned Buck into a sexual icon, thirsting over the animated livestock, posting various sexually explicit things about Buck’s alluring looks.

Kiwibank panicked and started dishing out copyright takedown notices to anyone posting anything it deemed too horny in regards to its green cartoon sheep. The company scrubbed images of its prized sheep from social media outlets, leaving behind messages that read “this media has been disabled in response to a report by the copyright owner.”

A Bank’s Cute Sheep Mascot Is Now at the Center of a Free Speech Fight

In a perfect example of the Streisand effect in full effect, Kiwibank’s attempt to silence the Internet’s horniness only brought the whole thing more attention, eventually garnering the attention of John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight, inspiring thousands of more users to flood their respective social media feeds with even more degenerate fan art.

New Zealand’s Free Speech Union has released an open letter accusing Kiwibank of illegal censorship. The group argues that using copyright law to squash parody, commentary, and memes violates fair use principles. “Copyright protects creative work from being copied,” the union said, “not brands from being laughed at.”

Kiwibank seems to have taken a different tactic, scrubbing Buck from all recent marketing materials rather than going after the memes, in an apparent attempt to kill the source rather than the memes themselves.

I don’t know how to do this in this article, so I’ll just copy and paste the final line from this CTVNews.ca article about this story, because it’s exactly the way that you would imagine a news outlet would awkwardly end a news story about people sexualizing a green cartoon sheep bank mascot: “New Zealand has long been known for having more sheep than people, with a ratio of 4.5 sheep to every person as of 2025.”

The post The Internet Won’t Stop Sexualizing This Bank’s Sheep Mascot (And the Bank Is Making It Worse) appeared first on VICE.

Over the past year or so, I’ve covered a lot of Neanderthal-related discoveries. The biggest takeaway from it all is that they weren’t too dissimilar from us, which is in itself a revelation given that for so long we made their very name synonymous with stupid and out of touch. A new study of Neanderthals published recently in Scientific Reports follows that trend of revealing the humanity of the Neanderthal, and it’s all thanks to a stabbing.

Researchers were looking at a 75,000-year-old partial skeleton nicknamed Shanidar A, named after where they found it, the Shanidar Cave in Iraq. It had a circular 15-millimeter puncture on the left shoulder blade. Speaking to Reuters, study lead author Dr. Emma Pomeroy of the University of Cambridge says that the fatal wound was likely caused by a downward thrust from a wooden spear that punched through the chest, into the lung, and through the heart before exiting the back.

Rough stuff. One could even call it distinctly Neanderthal behavior, assuming it was the result of some kind of clash among rivals, even though it could’ve just as easily been an accident.

This Neanderthal May Have Been Killed by a Spear. His Other Injuries Tell a Different Story.

The suggestion of a violent act also reveals a distinctly human, maybe even kind of touching reality upon closer examination: this Neanderthal experienced a degree of empathy. Not in the stabbing that punctured lungs and heart, but in other features. Shanidar A had severe but healed facial trauma that included a mouth of mangled teeth, an injury that the researchers theorize Shanidar A could’ve only survived with communal help since they probably couldn’t properly chew their food.

As Pomeroy said, “The pain would have been extreme, and basic needs like eating and drinking would have been difficult, perhaps meaning Shanidar A needed food mashing and being able to rest. It’s likely that Shanidar A did need some care from members of the group for ​some basic needs during recovery.”

Neanderthals had some real bad PR, but the more we find out about them, the more we realize they weren’t a bunch of stupid brutes that forgot to branch off into higher intelligence like the rest of us. They were violent, but they were also caring, and they knew how to keep their communities alive and thriving, even if, in time, Homo sapiens came out on top.

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Few, if any, doctors out there will recommend it, but plenty of people use marijuana in some form or another to help them get to sleep. Especially if they suffer from insomnia. But is there even any hard scientific evidence to suggest that weed can help you knock out when you’re physically unable to? Or is everyone just firing up a blunt or downing an edible on a hope and a prayer?

A newly released Cochrane Library review on medical marijuana’s use for insomnia reveals that… nope. It doesn’t actually do a whole lot to help you put to sleep or stay asleep.

Scientists at the University of Manitoba and the Universidad Hospital Italiano de Buenos Aires reviewed nine randomized clinical trials involving 537 participants. They found zero reliable evidence that medical-grade weed produces clinically meaningful improvements in total sleep time, sleep quality, or daytime functioning compared to a placebo.

Weed Might Make You Sleepy. Does It Actually Help With Insomnia?

Instead, users mostly gained mild side effects like dry mouth and dizziness, aka common weed side effects, and the kind of stuff you probably don’t want to be experiencing when you just want to fall asleep.

Speaking with Gizmodo, lead author Dr. Lucia Varela points out this doesn’t necessarily prove cannabis is useless for sleep, but rather, the existing pool of research is kind of a mess of small sample size studies that are rarely long-term looks at marijuana use for insomnia and are studies in which the type of weed product being used (joints, tinctures, edibles, etc.) varies wildly.

There’s a lot more work to be done, more studies to be conducted before the broader scientific community can make a judgment call on marijuana as a sleep aid, particularly as a magic bullet for insomnia.

If you’re smoking it or eating it to help you catch some Z’s, you are essentially running your own unsupervised scientific experiment, and probably one that is longer-running than some of the actual studies that have been conducted.  

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Peter Benchley’s 1974 novel Jaws was an immediate success upon release and was subsequently adapted into the blockbuster Steven Spielberg movie of the same name the following year. But despite the book putting Benchley on the map and making him a millionaire, the author began to second guess his work as time went on.

“What I now know, which wasn’t known when I wrote Jaws, is that there is no such thing as a rogue shark which develops a taste for human flesh,” Benchley was quoted as saying in 2000. “No one appreciates how vulnerable they are to destruction.”

Furthermore, Benchley explained that he never would’ve written the hit novel if he’d realized how much damage it would do to the reputation of the great white shark. After the book’s debut, Benchley became a shark expert and spent the rest of his life advocating for the creatures he’d unintentionally demonized.

“Considering the knowledge accumulated about great whites in the past 25 years, I couldn’t possibly write Jaws today…not in good conscience, anyway,” Benchley told the Cape Cod Times ahead of the premiere of his National Geographic documentary Great White, Deep Trouble.

The Author of ‘Jaws’ Became a Shark Conservationist After Learning the Truth About Great Whites

According to scientist Simon Thorrold of the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, Jaws helped legitimize shark hunting. An estimated 50 to 100 million sharks are killed by humans each year, but sharks are only responsible for a small number of human deaths by comparison.

“If you bought into the fact that you had this rogue, cold-blooded killer going around hunting humans, then obviously anything you could do to stop those sharks was good,” said Thorrold. “It provided cover for people who simply wanted to go out and kill sharks under the guise of somehow making people safer.”

However, Benchley, who died in 2006, insisted that reports of him regretting the book were untrue. “Regret is a waste of time in a case like this,” he argued. “There’s nothing I can do about it.” He eventually learned that stories revolving around sharks attacking boats and staying in a single area to feed on humans were implausible. As he tells it, things wouldn’t happen that way in real life because the animals have a tendency to spit people out.

The post The Author of ‘Jaws’ Said He Could Never Write the Book Today. Here’s Why. appeared first on VICE.

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The Party at Kitty and Stud’s is a softcore porno flick from 1970 that would probably be completely forgotten today if it weren’t for one minor detail: it happens to star Sylvester Stallone. The story, appropriately enough, revolves around a young couple named Kitty (Henrietta Holm) and Stud (Stallone). Despite Stud having his fair share of flaws, the two have a very active sex life, which sometimes ventures into sadomasochism. After Stud posts a party invitation on a bulletin board, a few people drop by the pair’s apartment, and their little get-together quickly turns into a full-blown orgy.

While speaking with Playboy in 1978, Stallone explained that he was destitute when he decided to take the part, which ended up being his first starring role in a movie. “I’d been bounced out of my apartment and had spent four nights in a row at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, trying to avoid the cops, trying to get some sleep and keeping my pens and books in a 25-cent locker,” the actor revealed. “That’s why I thought it was extraordinary when I read in one of the trade papers that I could make $100 a day,” he continued. “And the fact that I had to take off my clothes to do it was no big deal.”

Why Sylvester Stallone Agreed to Star in a Softcore Porn Movie Before He Was Famous

Though The Party at Kitty and Stud’s only appears to have had a limited release initially, the owners of the film, of course, tried to milk it for what it was worth when Stallone had his big breakthrough with Rocky a few years later. Stallone’s raunchy debut was subsequently reissued under the title Italian Stallion—a reference to Rocky Balboa’s nickname. “I can assure you that everything you ever wanted to see of Sylvester Stallone can be seen in this new X-rated movie,” editor Gail Palmer promised viewers in the trailer.

However, this was only after the film’s producers offered Stallone the opportunity to purchase the footage from them. “I think they asked for $100,000, but I wouldn’t buy it for two bucks, and my lawyer told them to hit the pike,” the Rambo star recalled. Looking back on his involvement with the project, Stallone said, “You know, when you’re hungry, you do a lot of things you wouldn’t ordinarily do, and it’s funny how you can readjust your morality for the sake of self-preservation.” He went on to say, “It was either do that movie or rob someone, because I was at the end—the very end—of my rope.”

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On October 6, 1993, five-year-old Austin Messner accidentally burned down his mobile home in Moraine, Ohio, which resulted in his two-year-old sister, Jessica Matthews, being killed. Austin had reportedly been playing with a lighter when he inadvertently set fire to his bed. “There was smoke everywhere, I tried to make it past my bedroom door, but the flames were too much,” said Austin’s mother, Darcy Burk, while recounting the story in 2011. “I had to jump out my window.”

Darcy quickly pointed the finger at Beavis and Butt-Head for inspiring the deadly blaze, citing Beavis’s well-known fascination with fire. As she tells it, Austin’s babysitter allowed him to watch the show, and he would go around imitating the characters’ signature laughs. MTV responded to the controversy by moving the series to a later time slot so that kids were less likely to see it. They also went back and removed all the fire references from earlier episodes.

But that wasn’t enough for Darcy, who was quoted as saying that she wanted Beavis and Butt-Head “completely off the air.” Furthermore, Darcy vowed that she would do everything she could to see that the show was canceled. However, MTV’s Carole Robinson pushed back against Darcy’s assertion that the series was to blame, telling the press, “I think the fire was an unbelievable, terrible tragedy. But we do not feel the program is responsible.”

For his part, Beavis and Butt-Head creator Mike Judge echoed Robinson’s sentiments when it came to the show being held accountable. “First of all, I don’t agree with any of that [kind of criticism] and I don’t take any responsibility for any of it at all,” Judge told The Spokesman-Review in 1996. “They didn’t get cable [in the trailer park where the fire occurred],” he continued. “No one mentioned that when the story was getting inflated.”

The post The Tragic Reason MTV Had to Censor ‘Beavis and Butt-Head’ in 1993 appeared first on VICE.

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Steve Burns hosted the Nickelodeon series Blue’s Clues for four seasons between 1996 and 2002, which is pretty weird, considering he was supposed to have died in 1998. That was the year rumors started making the rounds—for whatever reason—that Burns had passed away from a heroin overdose. In other versions of the story, he’d either committed suicide or been killed in a car accident. But as it turns out, this is just another one of the internet’s favorite urban legends.

While appearing on Rainn Wilson’s Soul Boom podcast last year, Burns revealed that he was in the “throes of depression” when he left Blue’s Clues in 2002, and speculation about his death was not what he wanted to be hearing. “When a rumor like that persists for three or four years, it stops being funny,” Burns explained. “When it persists for 10 years it feels like a cultural preference,” he continued. “When it persists for 15 or 20 years, you start to feel like you’re supposed to be [dead].”

Steve From ‘Blue’s Clues’ Wasn’t Dead, but the Rumors Nearly Broke Him

Following his departure from the show, Burns turned to alcohol and barely left his Brooklyn home. “I didn’t recognize me,” the actor told Wilson. “Everyone thought I was dead, and eventually I started playing along.” But although the experience took a toll on Burns as time went on, he said that he learned one valuable lesson from it: “Never Google myself.”

Nowadays, the rumors have died down significantly (no pun intended), but Burns still finds himself addressing them on occasion. However, he opts to treat them with playful humor at this point in his life. For example, Burns’s current Instagram handle is @steveburnsalive. And just to make it perfectly clear to his hundreds of thousands of followers, Burns posted a picture of himself in 2024 sporting a shirt that says, “Not dead yet”:

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The folks at the Goodrich Capital 8 movie theater in Jefferson City, Missouri, have some weird ideas for entertaining their patrons. For example, in May 2013, when Iron Man 3 premiered, reports said a man walked into the theater wearing tactical gear and carrying guns. As it turns out, the theater hired the guy to give customers a little more bang for their buck. Not everyone realized that, however.

“We had just finished watching Iron Man 3. We’re just getting into the car when I spotted a man in full assault gear, carrying what appeared to be a modified M4 and 9mm on his side,” John Morlock, a retired Army veteran who suffers from PTSD, told ABC News. Morlock didn’t tell the police, but according to JCPD captain Doug Shoemaker, the department received a series of calls pertaining to the incident. As a result, officers believed they were responding to an active shooter investigation.

The Time an ‘Iron Man 3’ Publicity Stunt Went Horribly Wrong

The theater manager, Bob Wilkins, later claimed the man with the guns was there for promotional purposes and that the stunt was planned months in advance. Wilkins also said only a few people were upset, but “hundreds were entertained.” When asked if he’d taken the Aurora movie theater shooting from the previous year into consideration while planning this bizarre gimmick, Wilkins replied, “Absolutely. That’s my number-one priority every day. It’s the safety and security of our guests.” 

The theater quickly posted an apology on its Facebook page afterward. “We apologize and are sympathetic to those who felt they were in harm’s way with our character promotion for Iron Man 3,” it began. “We have worked with the Cosplacon group on many movies to dress up and help entertain our customers,” the statement continued. “We have had many complaints about the members dressed specifically as S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives carrying fake guns. We didn’t clearly tell our customers and some people didn’t realize it was for entertainment purposes.”

For the record, S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives weren’t even featured in the movie.

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When Freddy vs. Jason hit theaters in 2003, it included a line of dialogue that even caught the writers off guard. During Kelly Rowland’s character Kia’s brief encounter with Freddy Krueger, she uses a certain gay slur that you can probably guess without us having to type it out for you.

In the event that you’re unable to narrow it down on your own, you can check out the scene in question right here:

It’s only natural for people to blame the film’s screenwriters in a situation like this, but they say someone else is responsible for the line’s inclusion. Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, who penned the final draft of the screenplay, spoke to Bloody Disgusting about the controversial sequence in 2016, and though it’s not clear which one of them was quoted, they firmly denied that the slur came from them.

A Controversial ‘Freddy vs. Jason’ Scene Was Originally Written Very Differently

“All we can tell you is…we didn’t write it, and we were really shocked when we heard it in the movie,” their response began. “We complained about it after the first screening, but it was never changed,” they continued. The pair went as far as to say that the dialogue was “a real stain on the movie,” in their opinion.

While it remains a mystery who came up with the line, a quick look at Shannon and Swift’s script confirms their story. In fact, that scene was completely different as originally written. Instead of ripping on Freddy like she does in the video above, Kia was supposed to mistake Jason for Freddy and simply tell him that she wasn’t afraid of him. Freddy then pops up just before Jason kills her and says, “Wrong one, b—h!”

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Who doesn’t love seeing a cute, furry little creature? That’s why games with animal protagonists are so common and popular across genres, from cozy to creepy. Here are five new and upcoming games where players can delve into wildlife-centered worlds. 

1. Animal Trainer Simulator 

If you want to work with digital animals without running an entire zoo, Animal Trainer Simulator is for you. Instead of a zoo or a wildlife preserve, players manage their own animal training center, where they can create a safe space for a host of furry creatures. You start by designing the building, then expand the premises with outdoor play areas and paddocks. 

And despite the name, it’s not just about training the animals. It’s also about taking care of them. The more a player pets, brushes, and feeds an animal, the happier it becomes, which means more love and loyalty for the trainer. Players can monitor stats to see how their animal is doing in terms of health and happiness. Some animals won’t be so easy to train, though, offering players a special challenge. As for the animals, players can train dogs and horses. 

Animal Trainer Simulator is available on Steam and PlayStation. 

2. Planet Zoo 2 

Planet Zoo 2, the sequel to zoo management simulator Planet Zoo, is out now. Zoo construction starts from the very beginning, including crafting habitats, managing daily tasks, and caring for the zoo animals. Players can build zoos around the world, with the goal of eventually releasing their animals into wildlife reserves so that they can thrive in expansive, natural environments. Wildlife reserves are a new element in the series, letting players manage realistic environments that change with the seasons and even the weather. 

New animals and habitats to explore, too. For the first time, players can add flying animals to their zoo, along with aquatic creatures and the homes they need to care for them properly. New animals include toucans, vultures, owls, sea turtles, manatees, and sharks. 

Planet Zoo 2 is available now on PC, PlayStation, and Xbox. 

3. Gravhounds

With a demo currently available on Steam, Gravhounds is a co-op action builder for up to four players. Friends can choose from a cast of canine characters called the Gravhounds, like Doberman Zane and bulldog Dozer, bio-engineered specifically for the task at hand. And what exactly is that task? Just build a base on an alien planet, no big deal, except the planet is inhabited, and those inhabitants will put up a serious fight. The Gravhounds can combine their skills and strengths to beat back the swarm. 

For anyone wondering what the “Grav-” part of Gravhounds means, the crew can use a Gravity Beam to toss objects over long distances to help their teammates. Or they can use the beam against enemies, tossing them around like a chew toy. Players should be careful with this tool. Chucking around “volatile materials” can be dangerous for themselves and their teammates. 

The demo launched on Steam on October 12, and the full game is set to enter early access on November 2nd. Along with PC, players can grab Gravhounds as a day-one drop on Xbox Game Pass. 

4. Creepy Shift: Deer Farm 

Not all animal-themed games are cute. Another entry in the indie horror franchise Creepy Shift, the game follows the main character on a remote farm, where their job is to care for the deer that live there. The work seems simple at first: keep the deer safe and fed, and do some maintenance on the farm and its machinery. In return, the main character has a place to sleep, albeit a rustic one, and plenty of time to themselves. That might be a problem, considering bears and wolves roam the woods, and the only link to the outside world is a radio. 

This first-person horror game has players not only care for the animals, but also solve puzzles and ensure their own survival. Previous Creepy Shift entries include Roadside Diner, where the player takes the night shift at a remote diner, and House For Sale, where the task is to make sure the house is ready for an investor to inspect. Deer Farm seems to continue the theme of working alone in a remote location while blending horror with job sims. 

Creepy Shift: Deer Farm doesn’t have an official release date yet, but a demo is already available on Steam — just in time for spooky season.  

5. Haunted Paws 

Haunted Paws is another co-op game, this time for two players who can use split-screen as they work together to solve mysteries. The game focuses on two pups, though players can choose from a wide range of cute breeds. Players can even customize fur color and dress the dog up in fun costumes. And that’s not all, as of October 9, the developers announced a kitten option, too! Although the kitten might have to dress up as a puppy to blend in. 

Whatever adorable option the player chooses, the goal is to rescue the human best friend kidnapped by creepy monsters. Each one has a unique backstory to unravel before they can be defeated, and it’s up to the two furry friends to do it. Run and dig, explore, and connect clues to figure out just how to get that best friend back. 

The release date for Haunted Paws is still up in the air, but players can access a demo on Steam now.

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Every gamer, whether experienced or new to the joystick life, reaches a point in a game where they simply get stuck. While walkthroughs are helpful, a more engaging option is a Let’s Play channel, where YouTubers play through the game and provide visuals to help anyone struggling. These channels can also preview gameplay and story, helping potential players decide whether the game is right for them. 

1. CJUGames

CJUGames offers a relaxed atmosphere while playing these scary games, rarely getting too loud, although he does fall prey to a jump scare every now and then.  The channel focuses primarily on indie horror games often played in one video, though one recent playthrough includes Silent Hill Townfall. Because his content highlights indie games, it helps prospective players discover games they might otherwise miss. Similarly, because these games may not have gotten the attention they deserve, it means a full walkthrough might be missing from the Internet. That’s where Chris comes in. 

In addition to the complete Townfall tour, with the last part posted less than two weeks ago, recent playthroughs include Lost Hopes: Days of Betrayal, We Are Sisters, and Echoes In Darkness, all of which the channel classifies as indie horror games. 

2. ManlyBadassHero

Like CJUGames, ManlyBadassHero offers a relaxed commentary style while focusing on indie projects. He also leans toward more bizarre games, though his channel includes more one-shot video guides than expansive multi-video posts. These videos are great for audiences who are curious about indie games but don’t have the time or focus for lengthy playthroughs. Beyond indie games, Manly has also covered more popular titles like Poppy Playtime and Mouthwashing.

More recent posts on the channel include Sweet Instincts, a visual novel created for the Spooktober Game Jam, along with a Backrooms parody game called Failrooms, and Slaughterforest. 

3. ChristopherOdd

ChristopherOdd offers a more immersive experience, urging viewers to put on headphones and dim the lights to focus on the game’s narrative. His channel also offers multi-video playthroughs that really dive into the story. Alongside games from bigger studios, he also shines a light on indie titles. His content centers on a variety of games, from RPGs like The Witcher to sci-fi like Star Wars: Zero Company to survival horror like Dive or Die. 

Part eight of his Dive or Die playthrough recently went up. Other posts from this week a Volatiles playthrough, and a video praising puzzle game Order of the Sinking Star. 

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Drake has been having an incredible year in 2026. After dropping three blockbuster albums that brought him back in fans’ good graces, his old feud against Kendrick Lamar almost feels like an asterisk. Despite the nasty beef, it’s as if he never stopped being the biggest rapper in the world.

To help with his case is his number one hit “Janice STFU”, a darker, moodier track that saw him take subliminal shots at Jay-Z and Kendrick Lamar. However, despite this success, a new lawsuit suggested that he actually stole the catchy chorus for it. A member of his team essentially scoffed at the accusation.

In a new report from TMZ, they said, “These allegations are categorically, unequivocally, and unequivocally denied. There is not one iota of truth to these accusations.”

Additionally, they called it a “manufactured and baseless attempt” at gaining publicity and discrediting his work. “Drake wrote this song and has no connection or knowledge of this person, full stop,” they stressed.

The lawsuit was reported by Billboard, where hip-hop artist, producer and engineer Aviel Calev Hirschfield claimed he wrote the infamous hook. Moreover, it was made with the Toronto MC specifically in mind after hearing Lykke Li’s “I Follow Rivers”. He alleged that the final products were basically identical and the stem recordings were still intact to prove it.

Drake Gets Hit With Hefty Lawsuit Over His Hit Song ‘Janice STFU’

This isn’t the only time that he’s been accused of ripping off another artist. Back in May 2026, Florida rapper 1900Rugrat felt slighted, alleging that the ICEMAN rapper reached out about working on music. As a result, he sent over a few different records and immediately gravitated to a song that would eventually become his intro.

Once it was made clear that he was saving it for his album, Drake still allegedly affirmed that he would utilize him on the album. However, the stars never aligned, and afterwards, he claimed he heard a record on ICEMAN that sounded like his work. “Twin, that’s the only beat I’ve ever produced,” he said. “Don’t rip my s**t and repitch it like that, fam. That’s fried out and f**ked up, twin.”

After the video he made, he posted DMs between him and Drake that proved he wasn’t lying about the potential of them working together. In the end, he never took him to court for allegedly stealing his work, though.

Photo by Mark Blinch/Getty Images

The post Drake Trashes Lawsuit Claiming He Stole the Chorus for One of His Biggest Hits: ‘Not One Iota of Truth’ appeared first on VICE.

If you’re into astrology, you likely know there’s a double retrograde coming this month. Venus and Mercury will both be retrograde, intensifying the already chaotic energy.

But while Venus has been retrograde since October 3 (and will be until mid-November), Mercury hasn’t entered its own yet—that is, until October 24. In other words, we have about a week to prepare for this highly dreaded astrological event.

Let’s get into it.

What to Expect From the Upcoming Mercury Retrograde

Mercury retrograde is known for its disruptive nature, as the planet rules our communication and mind. However, each Mercury retrograde is unique and brings different truths to light.

“Not all Mercury retrogrades are created equal,” says Rachel Ruth Tate, professional astrologer and Host of the Astrology Table Podcast at Rogue Media. “Some seem to last FOREVER and mess literally everything up, like the recent Mercury RX in its detriment/fall in Pisces from Feb 26 to Mar 20, 2026, while others seem to focus our lives and clarify our resolve, like the dignified Mercury RX station in its sign of exaltation and rulership in Virgo on Aug 4, 2024.”

“This particular, peregrine Mercury station at 20° Scorpio on Oct 24 falls somewhere between those two ends of the retrograde spectrum—deeply enlightening us while also necessitating some uncomfortable, vulnerable conversations that may leave both sides feeling raw,” Tate continues. “This is on theme for 2026, as each of the three Mercury retrogrades this year has occurred in one of the three water signs—Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces—which has ensured some significant stirring of the mental and emotional pots we have simmering on the stoves of our lives.”

How to Navigate This Mercury Retrograde

According to Tate, you might notice some intense feelings or reactiveness during this period. However, know that you’re experiencing them for a reason—and can use them to your advantage.

“The medicine? Pure, naked honesty,” Tate says. “In every context, from the personal to the professional, perhaps see what happens when you eliminate the little white lies you tell to make everyone around you comfortable, if only for the length of this Mercury retrograde. Can you operate with grace within the confines of the truth, unglamorous as it may be? The practice may just change your life. It is liberating to stop performing and placating.”

Throughout this Mercury retrograde, choose intimacy over avoidance—both with yourself and others.

“Removing the veneer between us can bring people closer together. It can be transformative to get intimate with your own thoughts as well,” Tate says. “Pick a week during this retrograde and make a point to address every thought you have. Hold yourself accountable and make a point to respond and decide what to do with what you find. The patterns you uncover may surprise you.”

Signs Most Impacted by the Upcoming Mercury Retrograde

According to Tate, everyone will feel the impact of Mercury retrograde. However, the following three signs in particular will be digging a bit deeper.

1. Gemini

Gemini, now is the time to process your feelings and nurture yourself. Suppressing your emotions can only get you so far. By admitting your vulnerabilities, you can take the proper steps to healing.

“Mercury is your chart ruler, and it’s spending an extended time in one of the most sensitive, subconscious parts of your chart,” says Tate. “Slow down enough to let yourself feel, and then decide how to untangle any knots you find in your heartstrings. What hurts enough to change?”

2. Virgo

Virgo, wisdom and discipline have always been your strengths. But now, it might be time to focus on unlearning lessons that no longer serve or align with you.

“Mercury is your ruler twice over, and it is stationing retrograde in the part of your chart that holds impressions of early childhood, including language, siblings, and school,” Tate says. “In this tender area, your real question is: What stories can you stop telling? You are more than allowed to unlearn.”

3. Scorpio

Scorpio, this powerful, often feared astrological event is occurring in your sign, making you the star of the sh*tshow.

“Where can you take more emotional accountability? What behaviors have you justified because you’ve been hurt?” Tate asks. “Your freedom lives in those realizations.”

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In today’s fast-paced world, it seems we’re always chasing the next something: the next milestone, next promotion, next goal, next year…

As a result, many of us define our lives through milestones like birthdays, marriage, a new year, etc.—all while neglecting the mundane days that, too, make up our lives. Also known as the Wednesday effect, this life approach measures our time and worth through productivity and celebration. But sometimes, our best moments occur on an average Wednesday evening with our loved ones.

What Is the Wednesday Effect?

The Wednesday effect describes our apparent indifference toward seemingly mundane days, like a random Wednesday in the middle of a busy workweek. However, it also acknowledges that our lives are made up of these seemingly ordinary moments—and they’re worth celebrating just as much as any holiday, weekend, or milestone.

“The Wednesday effect is a common experience, especially when you get caught up in a routine that feels repetitive,” says Phil Smyth, LCADC, LPC, Executive Director at Milestone Treatment Center. 

“By Wednesday, the excitement of the weekend is often worn off, but the next one still feels far away,” Smyth continues. “People may feel drained from work, routines, and responsibilities, and the week feels like it’s dragging on.”

As a result, we often treat weekdays like Wednesdays as throwaway days—ones we rush through or wish away because we feel they lack substance.

“Our brains respond to routine, expectations, and how we perceive time,” says Smyth. “At the beginning of the week, we typically feel more motivated by a fresh start, and the weekend gives us something to look forward to. By Wednesday, that initial motivation may have faded, and the demands of the week can catch up to us. Decision fatigue can creep in, and motivation can slump.”

However, this concept challenges us to find magic in our routine. Rather than waiting to start a new project on Monday or delaying a dinner date for Friday night, why not treat every day like it’s special?

“When we spend too much time focused on what we need to get done, we can often overlook the small, positive experiences that make everyday life feel meaningful,” Smyth adds.

Making the Most of Mundane Wednesdays

Most of us can’t afford to celebrate every single day of every single week, nor can we maintain enthusiasm through every workday. The Wednesday effect is about finding joy and inspiration on your average weekday, when nothing feels pressing or even exciting. It reminds us to find purpose in every moment—that you don’t need a new day, week, or even year to start fresh or chase a new dream. All those in-between days still add up to your life.

“Try to find something to look forward to every day, no matter how small,” Smyth recommends. “Whether that’s making your favorite coffee, taking a walk during lunch, or getting together with a friend at the end of the day, fun rituals can break up your routine and help you feel more present in the moments you may normally rush through. We don’t have to wait for the weekend or a big milestone to feel good about our lives, and learning to appreciate the ordinary moments can help us feel more grounded and find value in the day we are living in.”

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Scorpio season runs from October 23 to November 22, bringing mystery and passion to autumn. Here’s what to expect as the season begins, according to an astrologer. 

What to Expect This Scorpio Season

Scorpio season is already known for its intensity and mysticism, but this upcoming one will be especially fierce thanks to several astrological transits and events. In particular, the double retrograde will throw most of us for a loop. 

“The centerpiece of the season is going to be two concurrent retrogrades providing us an opportunity to revisit, deeply reflect, research, and reset with Mercury and Venus impacting communication, projects, relationships, values, self-worth, creativity, and money,” says Amanda Voss, Professionally Certified Astrologer + Astrocartographer at mapyourmagic.world and Astrology Teaching Assistant for helenawoods.com.

This period will highlight our most intimate relationships, causing us to question our past and present connections—and the marks they’ve left on us.

“What past relationships hold a part of you that has not been healed?” Voss asks. “What relationships are you not willing to hold on to because they don’t align with your value system?”

Additionally, you might notice an extra emphasis on your finances this month, as both Venus and Scorpio relate to money and resources.

“Since Venus is also representing worth (and thus finances), this is the best time … to work on a money or values manifesto,” Voss continues. “Your personal value is inextricably linked to the type of resources you can generate for yourself, so [if it’s] not where you want it, likely there’s some personal values out of alignment not being tended to … If you have a personal brand or business, I also think this is a great time to revisit a rebrand of what’s important to consider in your image, what you want people to know about you, and how you want that to present in the wider world.”

Important Events During Scorpio Season

According to Voss, the most pressing astrological event of Scorpio season is the double retrograde outlined above. However, the following transits will also be noteworthy:

Venus and Mercury Cazimi

On October 23 and November 4, we will experience a Venus cazimi and a Mercury cazimi, respectively.

“The cazimi means ‘in the heart of the sun’ and occurs with any planet while it’s 1 deg or less,” she explains. “The Mercury cazimi will support a reset of clear, empowering thought and bring unseen truths into the light. The Venus cazimi will provide clarity around our most important relationships, creativity, worth, and finances.”

Jupiter on South Node

On November 11, Jupiter will conjunct the South Node exactly. Astrologically speaking, this brings themes of expansion, courage, and optimism.

“Any hang-ups on being seen are definitely not part of who you are,” Voss says. “Say goodbye to that person; you’re not here to hide anymore”

Sun Square Mars

According to Voss, the Sun will square Mars mid-November. During this time, “keep the ego in check [and] take a pause from your DMs.” In fact, you might want to lay low and stay off social media altogether.

How to Navigate the 2026 Scorpio Season

This Scorpio season might ask for your patience, reflection, and authenticity.

“When we start off with the Mercury and Venus retrograde, this is a great time to deeply re-evaluate your most offbeat thoughts and psychology,” says Voss. “You’re likely to reflect on the dramatic relationships you’ve had in your life, which may have felt as if they were never satisfied.”

According to Voss, it’s important to communicate with clarity and intention during this time. While you might want to speak freely and rashly, know that your words carry weight—especially during a retrograde.

“As we move through the rest of retrograde season (both Mercury and Venus go direct after Nov 13), we’ll find ourselves more engaged with an active mind. Thoughts, ideas, and language can have a penetrating focus, but watch out for getting overly obsessed,” Voss adds. “Make sure you check in with your people/support system from time to time. You may feel at times as if you are not worthy of pleasure, or it could be hard to hold yourself back and not overindulge. Take a pause anyway.” 

By the end of this season, you’ll bound to rise as a more resilient, insightful, and grounded version of yourself.

“In the last couple [of] weeks of Scorpio season, you may find your intelligence sharpened and your passion stimulated,” says Voss. “You will have unparalleled concentration, so it’s a great time to get any deep research done and your curiosity for other people’s motivations and their thought process.”

The post Why Scorpio Season Is Going to Be Chaotic as Heck This Year, According to an Astrologer appeared first on VICE.

There’s just so much I just can’t swallow about bakery culture in 2026. For the most part, it’s advisable to forgo the calories and instead read about madeleines, pistachio-and-coffee ice, and chocolate cakes sugared with gothic tracery by revisiting the infinitely delicious pages of Proust. Thus, I have decided to present 10 reasons why I find most bakeries so intolerable these days. Allow my agitation around how croissants are currently being mangled to emerge as one of the article’s themes. Note: I may seem grumpy, but the fact that I avoid calling anyone out by name should let you know that I’m at least a crab with a heart. If you want to hear some nice things though, then read my list of dessert spots that are worth the hype when you’re finished here.

Before diving into our main list, let’s throw out some honorable-mention pet peeves. For one, the experience of attempting to fika can be interrupted by annoying customers. By all means, chat and be merry, but you don’t need to project every word as if from a stage — trust me, your life or opinions about that new Netflix show aren’t as entertaining to other patrons as you think. On the opposite end, a privately owned business is not a library or your bedroom. Setting up your personal belongings as if the table is your personal office space is not only unhygienic, but it kills the vibe.

Speaking more to the matter of hygiene, if an employee dares to wipe their nose with their hands (or gloves), I am leaving. It seems like an absolute given that workers would know that coughing into the hands is also incredibly disgusting, but it’s something I observe quite a lot. In fact, at one highly praised eatery, I even saw an attitudinal employee picking the insides of the acrylic fashion crimes glued to her fingers while carrying on a conversation with her iPhone on speaker and ignoring customers. Be courteous and know your products — it’s astounding just how many employees have no idea what’s inside, and how to describe, the items they are serving. Granted, if you are kind enough, I can forgive management’s negligence in preparing you for your duties. What is absolutely unforgivable, on the other hand, is the managerial decision not to place any pastries out in favor of plastic displays or nothing at all.

Now, the time has finally arrived to jump into the top 10 reasons I’m currently staying away from the majority of bakeries, besides just telling you they mostly fall between a 1 and a 3 out of 10, in my estimation.

1. Lack of quality ingredients

This first one should be pretty self-explanatory. If your chocolate mousse just tastes like sugar, your vanilla seems artificial, and your matcha sponge cake is reminiscent of sweet nothingness, then what on earth are you doing? High-quality ingredients are obviously of the utmost importance. A good bakery owner should be able to talk for quite a while about the care they’ve put into choosing all the right, often imported sources. Unfortunately, a sizable portion of places prioritize profits over quality, as opposed to delivering levels of quality justified by the prices. On this topic, I’ve noticed that European businesses, when expanding to America, frequently (if not from the start, then eventually) make their desserts chokingly sweet while turning down the punch of the actual flavors advertised. News flash: Not all Americans have palates tuned to tolerate grocery store cakes.

2. Where is the artistry?

In NYC, at least, it’s almost impossible to find good entrements. They are labor-intensive and require a level of precision and (dare I say) love that most establishments simply aren’t willing to put in. Gone are the days when it’s easy to stumble upon a beacon of refinement that serves up wonders that look like they’re meant for Marie Antoinette. As life is too short not to be fussy, pastries should resemble pieces of museum-worthy art. The lack of artistry these days is also apparent in uninspired flavor profiles and poorly curated menus; the bakeries local to me of the supposedly rarefied sort seem to be opting for smaller selections of less-than-ambitious offerings and/or just downright odd (even nonsensical) items, as we will explore more below. Sophistication, genuine creativity, and excellence as means of building a following have largely been usurped by cheap attention-wh*ring for clicks from the novelty-seeking crowds of today. While I am guilty of adoring pretentiousness, there’s nothing I hate as much as Philistinism paired with pretense.  

3. Bakers should be highly trained

Technique and skills are truly lacking these days. It should be common sense that those working at high-end bakeries should be highly trained. Yet, that is sadly far from always the case. One worker explained to me how her former employer (a hyped brand from France) gave all the counter staff a crash course on how to bake and required that they do so daily. Suddenly, the fact that I hadn’t cared for what I received at the chain in question made sense; the appearance of their items is clearly off nearly every time I pass by. At one spot, which was confoundingly praised by the NYT, I saw the kind but overwhelmed employees running back and forth between serving customers and their baking duties. No wonder why my pandan dessert tasted like they forgot to add the pandan…

Recently, I found myself at the end of a long line for a viral bakery. Thus, I decided to see if the wait would be justified by peeking into the window — the products of dilettantism passing as viennoiserie betrayed the fact that the owner had no formal training, proof that most people have no idea what they’re actually applauding and just behave like herd animals. I generally deem the idea that you can fully teach yourself an art form and forgo education while posing as a professional to be a grand declaration of arrogance. That said, I do not wish to disrespect all those excellent bakers, with no diplomas to show, serving up miracles at home. Kidnap an average Russian granny, and her cherry blini will probably outshine most viral spots.

4. Lack of Respect for Tradition

This is related to the last point — if you claim to be a pâtissier, for example, you’d better have studied and immersed yourself in French techniques as much as possible. Similarly, if you say you bring patrons a taste of Asia, then your items are likely insulting Asian culinary heritage if your background is in finance. And yes, there are so many individuals who simply decide to switch fields, whether due to stress or failure, and open bakeries. I love that Pierre Hermé includes the history behind the desserts explored in Pierre Hermé Pastries, for instance — bakers should really be aware of the significance behind the morsels they’re preparing.

In general, though not at all without exception, I’m not a big fan of fusion, as I find it often leads to disharmonious combinations that no culture should take pride in — an overwhelming sense of nowhere-ness. It is particularly irksome as gustation is so strongly linked to personal and ancestral memories and our sense of identity… While more of a home-baking hack, the rice paper croissant just might be one of the most blasphemous and scream-worthy recipe ideas ever. Returning to the reality of foreign grandmas representing formidable forces in the kitchen, your goal as a chef shouldn’t be to get murdered by weaponized rolling pins in the hands of the elderly.

5. Bizarre Hybrids

Having mistakenly estimated that the all-too-offensive joke that is the cronut would quickly perish, I never could have predicted the abundance of preposterous hybrids ambushing us these days. The noble croissant has been wed to the likes of the plebeians known as the chocolate chip cookie, black and white cookie, brownie, etc. Again, the annoying lack of respect for tradition manifests itself here in options like the onigiri, tortilla, and shakshuka croissants. Ew. Ew. And ew again. Are we engaged in weirdness competitions or attempting to satisfy pregnancy cravings?! I do not possess words harsh enough for the little tarts who devised such Frankensteinian train wrecks.

6. “Elevated” junk food

While this goes with the last grievance, I thought it deserved its own space: Please stop the glorification of banality! Nothing gives me a seizure as fast as the sight of a peanut butter and jelly macaroon — even patisseries I support have been guilty of this crime, but that doesn’t prevent it from being the antithesis of cute. Call me mean, but I demand that all birthday cake and cookies and cream flavors be cancelled as well. “Elevated” s’mores desserts began provoking my sighs a while ago when they emerged on menus at so-called pillars of fine dining as well as attempts to recreate vending-machine options like Snickers… I know they appeal to a lot of customers, but I usually interpret cake pops, cupcakes, and donuts as massive red flags. (While I am usually greatly put off by the sight of cinnamon rolls standing, in all of their chubby awkwardness, beside the canelé, who must feel some sense of degradation as a result, NYC’s outstanding Frenchette humbled me by making what is probably one of the only cinnamon rolls meant to please an incorrigible snob.)

Fortunately, I have not seen any desserts topped with Lotus Biscoff cookies in quite a while. But at one completely inauthentic, or culturally ambiguous but European-inspired, establishment in New York, I spotted something even more gasp-inducing: A cake slice that looked like it could have come from a gas station with an Oreo on top. The location harbored an even more shocking American invader: garlic knots. That represents a new level of sacrilege, as far as I’m concerned.  

While it’s a bit off-topic, as it’s neither junk nor a dessert, NYC’s $60 rye bread, which can be purchased with a $480 minimalist storage container, really illustrates the absurdity of what American gourmands are sometimes offered (in this case, by an Austrian, who is banking on American stupidity). While I am usually happy to extol the merits of breads baked by Europeans, rye is in no shape or form a luxury good.

7. Old and Overbaked: Dry *ss Croissants and Rock-Hard Buns

The inability of bakers to produce acceptable croissants exposes several issues plaguing the culinary arts. The croissant should be light, flaky, and buttery, with a distinctive honeycomb shape inside that reveals itself upon dissection (though it’s best to just tear them). Instead, what you’ll typically find while trying to procure a traditional croissant, at least in those culturally impoverished areas like New York that confoundingly masquerade as cultural havens, are either dry or greasy abominations meant only for the garbage. I have seen the croissant and pain au chocolat both overbaked to the point of turning blackish at revered establishments. The ashy taste of incineration and blood from sharp shards that cut the throat, as washed down by overly acidic coffee, is not how I like to begin my mornings, but that’s a personal preference, of course.

Not minding the oven is not the only factor contributing to ghastly textures. As far as I’m concerned, if your cardamom bun was baked yesterday, you can shove it. Along those lines, I’m aware that some desserts must be frozen during the creation process (Take entrement with mirror glazes.), and that the likes of macarons are better aged. That said, there’s hardly anything less appealing than a dessert that leaves the funky aftertaste of the refrigerator. I just love influencer-approved pre-sliced Basque cheesecake that has been sitting in a box (with a wilting flower and cream in the process of breaking down) since God knows when. I’ve even been served desserts are thawing… Whereas, in Russia, my go-tos took great pains to make sure that customers were either eating goods baked that day or were, at least, aware of which items were not, in New York, you can spot sweat-like beads of condensation on pastries at even some of the priciest bakeries. At one beloved “neighborhood mainstay,” meaning outdated must-avoid, I spied mold on the raspberries adorning a cake and have the pictures to prove it, though I’m too much of a doll to do so here — you’re welcome to the owners.

8. Epic Infantilism

This peeve sometimes manifests itself in both elevated junk food and bizarre hybrids, and it’s another great issue to explore through the croissant. Croissants have been turned into every shape imaginable (bowties, cat faces, spheres, cubes, etc.), thereby often destroying their characteristic airiness. They have moreover been r*ped with all kinds of texturally incompatible and high-colored substances — some of which resemble Nickelodeon slime, others give Play-Doh vibes. (Madeleines have fallen victim to similar caprices that would render a Proustian reaction impossible.) If I already expressed that I like my desserts to look as if they’re for a queen and reflect and elite sense of aesthetics, then much of what I see appears as if it’s destined for a group of little munchkins in plastic tiaras with light-up sneakers. Croissants are not meant to be flat, obscured by pink-dyed white chocolate, and coated in multi-colored sprinkles. The irony here is that the croissant has been enjoying a rather big, extended moment. Yet, a certain hatred seems to be at the heart of the public’s obsession with this supposed star of the show — if you love something, then why do you have to force it into an identity crisis and through the indignity of being turned into (sometimes literally) a shell of itself to house other things?

9. What is the obsession with oversized?

Alright, I’ll admit that the giant croissant and pain au chocolat from the likes of Philippe Conticini are cute and whimsical, surrealism in a way. However, I’m usually pretty happy to rail against the obnoxious phenomenon of supersized items, as I think they are moronic — they may not fall under the category of infantile, but they are juvenile. We don’t need a jumbo cake slice with vomitously heavy buttercream. (Why in the world does American buttercream even exist?) That said, it’s obvious that a lot of modern desserts aren’t actually meant to be consumed — they are intended to serve as fodder for often grotesque social media videos in which they are torn apart and finger-f*cked by influencers in manners that make stray dogs seem dainty.

10. I am not a barbarian

Thank you to those star influencer pastry chefs who pander to the TikTok rabble while acting like cringey magicians, snapping their fingers to the tune of annoying background music. Any dessert with a hard chocolate shell that is meant to be broken by raising in its entirety to the mouth and biting is not for me. It’s not chic; it’s barbarism. While I’ve always loved entremet resembling fruit when done elegantly, I despise the newer types of trendy faux fruits and nuts of which I am speaking here. They are just too literal in interpretation to be art and feel like science experiments of sorts… especially when they begin to ooze obscene lava-like goo or when chunks that just feel inappropriate are unearthed. (On the topic of science, if I may be a bit tangential, is it just me who loathes that ultra-sterile, bare-bones Brooklyn workshop look that is, for some reason, treated as an approved interior design choice, even though it seems to express a refusal to exercise free will? Even Soviet architecture seems warmer.)

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