You can tell a guy his gym routine is paying off with a compliment, or you can climb on and grind on his bicep for your own pleasure. Men seem pretty excited about the second option.

A woman recently asked Reddit if it would be weird to grind on her friend-with-benefits’ freshly jacked arm during foreplay, and the replies were overwhelmingly supportive. “It’s weird as hell on the surface, but it’s something that, if it happened to me, I would literally never forget it,” one man wrote, according to Metro. Someone else coined “bicepsual,” while another woman chimed in that she prefers pecs and hips. The internet has spoken.

The arm obsession didn’t come out of nowhere. TikTok spent the summer obsessed with the “bicep trend,” where men stand around looking “normal” in a T-shirt before flexing and revealing their massive bulk. Women have always liked a good arm. Some are now looking at one and thinking, that could be fun.

This Unusual Sex Act Might Be the Ultimate Compliment for a Guy’s Biceps

Psychosexual therapist Becky Crepsley-Fox told Metro that grinding on a partner’s body comes up with her clients regularly. The technique is called broadening, where stimulation spreads across more of the vulva instead of concentrating on one small area. A flexed bicep just happens to be firm and conveniently shaped for the assignment.

From a purely anatomical standpoint, the bicep makes a pretty good “saddle” to hit all those good spots. Research from Indiana University found that only 18.4% of women said penetration alone was enough for orgasm. More than a third said they needed clitoral stimulation, while another large group said it made their orgasms better.

Sex therapist Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate, has been arguing for years that penetration gets way too much credit. “When we equate intercourse and sex and call everything that comes before intercourse ‘foreplay,’ we are buying into the cultural script,” she told CNN.

Women who sleep with women also report higher orgasm rates than straight women. One study found that 86% of lesbians usually or always orgasmed during sex, compared with 65% of heterosexual women. For many women, the clitoris is the main event.

So if the bicep looks…inviting, ask first. Judging by the Reddit response, there’s a decent chance he’ll consider it the best compliment his arm has ever received.

The post Why Biceps Are Having a Very Horny Moment Right Now appeared first on VICE.

Ever been twenty minutes into a first date and thought, yeah, this isn’t it? They’ve brought up their ex three times, and your drink is still mostly full. You want to go home, but you’d also rather not be the a**hole who bolts.

Chances are, you’ll stay anyway. A UK study found that people usually know if a date is going well within about 25 minutes, then hang around for an average of 51 minutes before finally making an excuse. More than a third said they didn’t feel comfortable saying they wanted to leave. That’s almost another half hour of your life spent talking to someone you know you won’t see again. 

Ilay Shitov, chief growth officer at the dating app Fledge, thinks people are making this harder on themselves than they need to. “A first date is not a contract,” he told VICE. “You are meeting someone to find out whether you enjoy being around them and sometimes the answer is no, and there is nothing inherently rude about that.”

How to Leave a Bad Date Without Faking an Emergency

For him, the difference is in how you handle it. He defines being a jerk as “knowingly creating expectations you have no intention of fulfilling or disregarding another person’s feelings, dignity or boundaries when you could have treated them with more care.” Realizing over coffee that you have absolutely no interest in a second date doesn’t meet that bar.

It’s also completely normal to cut a date short if you’re not feeling it. In a DatingAdvice.com survey, 49% of Americans said they’d left early because of the other person’s behavior. The person you’re with would rather you be honest than grin and bear it. A Shane Co. survey found that 39% would rather hear the truth than sit through the rest of a date that clearly isn’t working.

Shitov recommends planning in an easy exit from the start. He suggests grabbing coffee and walking toward a restaurant, then deciding after 15 or 20 minutes whether you both want to keep going. He even recommends agreeing on a signal beforehand, like picking up your keys. “It may sound silly, but having the signal agreed in advance removes the awkwardness and gives both people a dignified way out,” he said.

If you didn’t build in an escape plan, you can still just say what’s happening. “I’ve enjoyed meeting you, but I don’t think we’re a match, so I’m going to head out” is enough. You don’t need to fake a sick roommate or suddenly remember that your oven is on.

Of course, safety is different. If someone makes you uncomfortable or something feels wrong, leave. Manners can sit this one out.

“You don’t owe someone chemistry,” Shitov said. “But you do owe them basic consideration.” A half-finished drink and a direct goodbye is better than another hour of pretending.

The post How to Leave a Bad First Date Without Being a Jerk: A Helpful Guide appeared first on VICE.