Human beings have built an entire secondary social economy around pretending to be just slightly less interested than they are. 

To examine how people interpret availability in social and romantic life, ReverseLookup surveyed 9,100 adults across the US, EU, UK, and Latin America. What they found was a portrait of collective performance. Over half of respondents (52%) had deliberately sat on a reply or held off accepting an invitation even if they had no plans—not because they were playing games, necessarily, but because appearing too available seems desparate. Thirty-seven percent had flat-out lied about being busy. Thirty-three percent had passed on a same-day plan they wanted to go to because agreeing immediately felt like too much.

Most people have been on both sides of this, which is why reading about it feels a little exposing. Forty-four percent of respondents had assumed that someone consistently free at short notice probably had a less active social life. A wide-open schedule gets interpreted as low demand, regardless of what’s actually behind it. Forty-six percent had brought up other plans while arranging to meet someone—those plans didn’t affect anything; they just made clear that other people also wanted this person’s time.

Being Too Available Can Make You Less Attractive, According to Psychology

This behavior has been around for a long time. It’s the scarcity principle, documented by psychologists since a landmark 1975 study found that people consistently rated identical cookies as more desirable when only two were in the jar than when there were ten. Researchers at the University of Rochester later found the same dynamic in dating: people who interacted with a more selective online dating profile rated that person as more attractive and more valuable as a partner. The brain is running a crude supply-and-demand analysis on your DMs.

Think about the difference between “I’m free Friday” and “I can probably make Friday work.” Same night, same result, but only one sounds like it came from a calendar with other things on it. The survey found that 29% had lost interest in a new friend or romantic prospect who appeared too available on a consistent basis. They weren’t making a deliberate decision. They were responding the same way people respond to a jar with two cookies versus a jar with ten—the one that’s easier to access feels like it’s worth less.

There’s an obvious irony in all of this. The behaviors the data flags as working against you—answering right away, being flexible, openly expressing interest—are the exact ones that build trust and actual connection. Research consistently finds that hard-to-get behavior inflates short-term desire while eroding the very intimacy it’s supposed to create. One of those things eventually has to give.

Half of adults are out here manufacturing scarcity about themselves. The ones who aren’t are probably still more fun to spend your time with.

The post The Dating Habit That Can Make You Seem Less Attractive, According to Experts appeared first on VICE.

Unless you’re both on the same page about an open relationship or love wild experiences together, most couples don’t want a third party in their bedroom. But what they’re not realizing is that there already kind of is. It’s that dang phone. 

Let’s back things up. Between 1996 and 2008, 59% of married adults had sex at least once a week, according to the Institute for Family Studies. That fell to 49% for the period 2010 to 2024. By 2025, nearly half of married couples reported going without sex for 12 months or longer, per Gitnux. Sexless marriages—defined as fewer than ten times per year—affect between 15 and 20% of US couples, with relationship stress cited as the leading driver at 40%. The factor increasingly backed by research, though, is the phone.

A 2023 IFS study found that married adults reported lower sexual frequency when their spouse replaced couple time with staring at their phone or computer. The habit researchers have named is called “bedtime procrastination”—two or more hours of screen time in the last stretch before sleep. Two people in the same bed, each in a separate universe. The bedroom is still there, but the place it used to represent mostly isn’t.

Your Phone Might Be Quietly Killing Your Sex Life

The pattern is a named behavior in couples therapy. “Couples begin living parallel lives,” Dr. Anna Elton, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist, told Fox News Digital. “Conversations revolve around schedules, errands, bills and the kids. Intentional time together becomes less frequent. Affection, physical touch, flirting and playfulness become less frequent, replaced by stress, conflict and growing resentment.”

A 2025 SimpleTexting survey, cited by Psychology Today, found that 40% of adults would rather give up sex for a year than their smartphone—or rather, that’s where they’d prefer to focus their attention. The same device couples use to scroll through other people’s vacation photos is the one creating a wall between them.

The fix, according to therapists, starts before the bedroom is even a thought. “Physical intimacy and emotional closeness go hand in hand,” Elton said. “If we want to improve our sex lives, we have to focus on the connection itself.” That connection requires time that’s currently being allocated elsewhere. Elton advises couples to define what satisfied looks like for their relationship and commit to protecting it before the drift becomes the autopilot move.

The post The Common Habit That’s Killing Your Sex Life (And How to Stop Doing It) appeared first on VICE.

The friend zone sucks. You liked someone, they liked you back as a good listener, and you either waited it out or moved on. The whole thing was painful, but at least it was cheap. Not anymore.

The average all-in date in 2026 costs $189, up 12.5% from the year before, according to BMO’s Real Financial Progress Index — and that includes the grooming products, the gas money, and whatever restaurant managed to charge $40 for pasta. Americans who dated went out about 12 times over the past year, down from 14 in 2025, spending an average of $2,323. Restaurant prices have climbed nearly 40% since early 2019, per S&P Global. Nearly half of single Americans say dating has priced them out.

Into this economic climate, the friend zone has become a casualty. The premise of it, paying for someone who might never reciprocate romantically (drinks, dinners, planned outings), was always a gamble. When the tab was smaller, the gamble was more manageable. Now, with the average date approaching $200 and 71% of men expecting to cover everything early in courtship, according to the same BMO survey, the case for waiting out the friend zone has gotten much harder to make.

Why People Are Starting to Abandon the ‘Friend Zone’ for Good

The sentiment has been circulating online for months. The case people are making is sadly understandable. Money spent on someone who might never become a romantic partner is money wasted in an economy where groceries, rent, and utility bills are already eating through the paycheck. Comment sections reliably fill with men who agree. One commenter on Team Blind said. “I would be happy to pay for dates in a monogamous relationship,” he wrote, “but with the way dating is, you’ll get taken advantage of as a man if you pay for anything beyond a drink or coffee too early.”

The friend zone exit is part of an accelerating trend. The 14th annual Singles in America survey from Match and the Kinsey Institute found 53% of U.S. singles reporting dating burnout. A Bank of America survey found over half of Gen Z adults spent $0 a month on dating in the past year. A growing number of men are treating the friend zone exit as an early move in a longer withdrawal from dating entirely.

Being friend-zoned when you really like someone is a blow. Now you’re going broke too? Who wants to opt into that? 

The post It’s Official. Inflation Is Killing the Friend Zone appeared first on VICE.

There was a time when feeding two people meant making dinner. Maybe somebody hated mushrooms or picked the onions out, but the basic premise held. Now one person is on a GLP-1, the other is tracking protein, dairy is a problem, carbs are off limits, and dinner for two can require two separate meals. That’s food divorce for you. 

Americans have gotten much pickier, or at least much more specific, about what goes on the plate. In 2018, 36% said they followed a dedicated diet or eating plan. By 2025, that number had climbed to 57%, according to the International Food Information Council. Then came the GLP-1 boom. A March 2026 KFF poll found 12% of U.S. adults were taking medications like Ozempic or Wegovy, and the CDC says 6.7% of people have a food allergy. Two people can share a kitchen and still have completely different ideas about what to eat for dinner.

The thing is, eating together is actually good for us. A 2026 study published in Appetite followed more than 12,000 couples in Germany and found that couples who shared meals regularly reported greater relationship satisfaction, fewer depressive symptoms, and better overall health. Meanwhile, Americans are doing increasingly little of it. The 2025 World Happiness Report found about 1 in 4 Americans eats every meal alone on any given day, a 53% increase since 2003.

What Is a ‘Food Divorce’? The Relationship Trend Splitting Up Dinner.

Food has also become heavily loaded with identity. Julie Menanno, a marriage and family therapist and author of Secure Love, told Bustle that the pressure around food has become pervasive. “There is enormous pressure to get food right, exercise right, health right, body right,” she said. “And nobody really has the answers.”

GLP-1 medications also bring this into laser focus at home. Dr. Leila Fathi, a Research Fellow at the Centre for Food Policy at City St George’s University of London, told Metro that side effects including nausea and reduced appetite can “reshape individuals’ relationships with food,” creating associations that leave couples preparing and eating meals separately.

A food divorce—the term Metro has coined for couples who shop, cook, and eat independently—is the name for an arrangement that’s already emerging across households. The logic is clear: if the shared meal has become a source of friction, eating separately removes one argument from the rotation. What’s less clear is whether removing the friction also removes the ritual.

Maybe the family dinner was always given too much credit. Plenty of miserable couples have eaten lasagna together. Still, when two people start shopping separately, cooking separately, and eating separately, it’s fair to wonder what else gets divided up along the way.

The post The Crazy Reason Why Couples Are Starting to Eat Separately appeared first on VICE.

The most common advice I’ve received post-breakup was “just block them,” as if it’s that easy to shut out the person who used to be your best friend and biggest confidant. I will never be the person to blindly force that advice on someone else—especially when they’re fresh out of a relationship and just trying to find some grounding. Healing takes time, and in some cases, light communication can be maintained throughout the grieving process.

However, new MyIQ research found that 69% of singles see their ex or former romantic interest’s social media activity after communication ended, while 58% said that visibility made it more difficult to move on emotionally.

‘No Contact’ but Connected on Social Media

While you might think you’re in “no contact” with your ex because you’ve stopped texting, calling, and checking in, are you still connected via social media? Actions like checking their Instagram stories, browsing their TikTok reposts, and liking each other’s photos might feed your attachment to them, prolonging the uncertainty of “will they, won’t they.”

For example, let’s say you’ve stopped texting your ex and muted their stories…yet you’re still posting in hopes that they’ll see. This subconscious behavior continues to keep you hooked. You might read into every view, every like, and every minor interaction, rationing them like breadcrumbs that feed your connection.

Over half of the survey respondents said they had wondered whether a Story view, reaction, or other online interaction was a sign that someone wanted to reconnect. And unfortunately, lurking (or what many call “orbiting”) is a common post-breakup trend, with 47% of respondents acknowledging regularly viewing someone’s content after ending communication. 

“Seeing someone online is not the same as hearing from them, but social media can make those two things feel much closer than they are,” Sarah Meyer, Managing Director of MyIQ, said in a press release. “A Story view gives you evidence that someone is still paying attention. What it does not give you is evidence of why.”

And so, our brains fill in the gaps with our most hopeless-romantic theories and stories. “They must miss us.” “They’re definitely regretting their decision to end things.” “They’re going to reach out to reconnect soon.”

Thus, we waste time waiting around, prolonging our healing.

So…Should You Block Your Ex on Social Media?

While cutting off contact with your ex is often integral to your healing, sometimes you have to learn when to step away on your own terms. As I said before, I’d be a hypocrite if I preached about the need to block an ex immediately post-breakup. But boundaries are important.

For example, after my ex continued to string me along for months following our breakup, I eventually reached a point where I knew what I had to do (kindly tell him to F off before cutting off all contact/connection, both on and offline) and found the strength to do it. It took me some time, but I learned—albeit the hard way—that keeping in touch was not good for me. 

Only then did I feel like I could finally move on. If I hadn’t reached that point, perhaps I always would have wondered “what if?” 

Moral of the story: you know yourself best. You don’t have to follow strict post-breakup rules, but you also shouldn’t fully ignore your friends’ input. You’ll know what you truly need to heal, and you’ll find the courage to make the right choices for yourself.

The post The Real Reason You Can’t Move On From Your Ex, According to Dating Experts appeared first on VICE.

The 72-hour rule is the internet’s latest answer to the question of why couples stop having sex. The concept is simple. Aim to be intimate, whether that’s sex or another form of physical connection, every three days. On social media, it’s getting exactly the reaction you’d expect. Half the comments say it sounds clinical and exhausting. The rest are into it.

This isn’t a new idea. VICE covered the case for scheduling sex earlier this year, and the research behind it is fairly damning. The Knot’s 2024 Relationship and Intimacy Study found only 2% of couples actually schedule sex, while 24% say they’re dissatisfied with their sex lives. The 72-hour rule is the same argument with a catchier name—sex doesn’t maintain itself, so at some point you have to decide it’s worth protecting.

Leigh Norén, a sex therapist and coach, told Stylist that structured intimacy can work. “Intimacy, whether physical, emotional or sexual, can often fall by the wayside in long-term relationships,” she said. “While Hollywood has us believe that if we’re with the right person, we don’t need to work at it to keep it alive, we absolutely do.” For couples who respond well to routine, the 72-hour rule is like a regular checkpoint rather than a deadline.

Not everyone is convinced. Mariàn Martínez, a sex and relationships coach at Smile Makers Collection, told Stylist she thinks the rule is targeting the wrong thing. “Most don’t stop having sex because they forgot to put it in the diary,” she said. “They stop because they’re exhausted, resentful, disconnected, carrying unequal mental loads or because desire has become another thing to produce.” Putting a timer on sex won’t fix any of that. For couples in that position, a 72-hour deadline is just another thing to fail at.

This New Relationship Rule Says Couples Should Be Intimate Every 3 Days

A 2024 study out of New Zealand found that women who have sex at least once a week report the highest relationship satisfaction—suggesting frequency and satisfaction are connected, up to a point. The 72-hour rule sits somewhere in that range for most couples. Whether it works depends on whether both people are actually committed to it, instead of one person adding it to the list of things the other hasn’t done yet.

The number is almost beside the point. What the 72-hour rule actually does, when it works, is move sex from the category of things that might happen into the category of things both people have decided to do. Three days or once a week—the interval doesn’t matter as much as the agreement behind it. The rule won’t fix a relationship that has bigger problems. But for couples who’ve just let things slide, it’s a place to start.

The post Couples Are Trying the 72-Hour Rule to Fix Their Sex Lives appeared first on VICE.